A wasp gets into the room while I am recording an episode about embodiment.
I get up. I try to shut the window. I look for the wasp, telling myself it is fine.
Then I start talking about the breath, and I catch my own. My out-breath is longer than my in-breath. It clicks. There was a tightening in my chest, in my hips, in my sacrum, and I had walked straight past it. A bit of a freeze, and I had not noticed.
That is the subtlety of somatic work. The body speaks first, quietly, and most of us are busy being fine. I tell the whole moment on episode 006 of my podcast, and you can follow the exercise along with me.
What does somatic touch therapy actually mean?
It means working from the body upwards. The word somatic comes from soma, the body. At Feel Fully You I describe two routes in.
| Top-down | Bottom-up | |
|---|---|---|
| Starts with | The story of what happened | What your body is doing now |
| Works through | Thoughts, talking, awareness | Breath, sensation, touch |
| Brings you | Insight into the pattern | The feedback your body sends back |
Touch enters when what you notice is a touch. Your own hand on your own belly, or a hand someone offers with your yes.
The name itself is a loose one. People search for somatic touch therapy and land on very different work. Mine is intimacy and touch work, and Somatic Experiencing is one of the tools I use inside it.
How does somatic touch therapy work for healing?
It works on the half that talking leaves out. Someone can go through a hard experience, remember every detail of it, and still feel stuck, with the emotional charge still attached. Talking brings awareness. The loop back from the body is the other half, and that is the half I work with.
What changes it is practice. To me, embodied means you have done something so many times that it has become a habit, a new neural pathway. The leaders you trust all create a feeling of safety in you, and that safety is what your body is practising.
What can I try first, on my own?
Pause, and follow your breath. Notice where it lands: the upper chest, the midriff, the belly. Is it quick or slow?
This is the check-in I teach on the episode. It takes about four minutes. Sit down, and if you are driving, pull over.
- Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, with a longer exhale.
- Put your attention on your hands. Is there a sensation? Still or moving? Warm or cold?
- Rest one hand on your belly, thumb at the belly button.
- Breathe in, then make a low “vu” sound, like a foghorn, from deep in your belly rather than high in your chest.
- Notice your hands, your jaw, your feet. If something wants to shake or tremble, let it.
- Wiggle your toes and feel the floor under your feet.
Remind yourself that whatever you passed through is in the past. You have already survived it. Your body does not always know. Give yourself time afterwards, because it is subtle and it can land harder than you expect.
If you feel spacey or overwhelmed, put your hands on a desk, or on something wooden or metal, and your feet on the floor. With each breath, imagine energy leaving through your palms and the soles of your feet. That is the grounding trick I teach.
Where does touch come in?
In my work touch arrives first as an anchor you do on your own, and later as touch with someone else, always with your yes. Touch Base®: thumb to forefinger, feel the ridges, say “I am safe right now”, hold for two minutes.
In my intensives I do de-armouring work with women and with men. I also teach men how to touch their partners.
Women who want to relearn what safe touch feels like, at their own pace, usually begin with One Touch.
Is somatic touch therapy right for me?
It suits you when talking about it has not changed how your body feels. If your body flinches or freezes with someone you trust, this answer on flinching and freezing is the place to read next.
For a quiet first step, the free Touch Reset Quiz shows you where your touch pattern sits, in about five minutes.
Picture a year from now with the small tightening still unnoticed. Then picture catching it on day one.