What Does It Mean to Live a Scrumptious Life?

People kept asking me the same thing, so I want to answer it here. What do I actually mean by scrumptiousness? For me it is that orgasm, that life chi, that life force that runs through every one of us, the one we lost access to somewhere along the way.

We Were Born With It

Think back to when we were babies. We were born with no hang-ups about anything. If we were hungry, we cried. If we needed our nappy changed, we cried. If we needed touch, we cried. A baby is not afraid to cry. A flower is not afraid to grow. We, as humans, pick up so many imprints along the way, the way someone looked at us, the way someone told us off, and we soak them up. Little ones, especially up to the age of two, absorb all of it, from parents, from siblings, from society. Once we start collecting all of that, we begin to armour ourselves. Underneath the armour is our essence, that true being we are, and that is our scrumptiousness. It is joy found in every single moment.

How I Hit Rock Bottom

I am originally Dutch, a mother of four, and I have lived in the UK for a long time. Part of how I got here is that I hit rock bottom. My health became so poor from overgiving, from the conditioning that tells us, especially as women, wives, and mothers, to make everyone else's life the best it can be. Somewhere along the way I forgot to take care of myself. I had a beautiful life, houses here and there, and still a part of me felt that something was missing.

This is often what people call the midlife layer. You have ticked the boxes, the education, the career, the children, the home, the loving relationship. Those base needs are met, and then a new layer appears: your connection to yourself, to your body, to something bigger. This is the point where many of us start looking outside ourselves to change, asking what we can rearrange on the outside so we feel better on the inside. My body kept trying to get my attention. If it whispers and we do not listen, it starts to scream. Mine screamed. I started fainting. I spent months in and out of hospital, unable to walk far on my own without passing out. Screech, rock bottom, and breathe. Not everyone needs to go that far for things to change, and that was my turning point.

You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup

You may have heard this in the coaching world, and it is real. Pour water into a glass and you can water the plants with it. Pour nothing in, and there is nothing to give. We charge our phones. We reboot our computers. We rarely charge ourselves. Scrumptious living starts with filling yourself back up.

A 90-Second Practice

Let me give you something to feel this in your own body. If you are somewhere safe, close your eyes. Take a breath in through your nose, hold it at the top, and exhale through your mouth. Now name whatever thought comes up, even "I do not have time for this." When we voice something, we move through it. Then notice any image. Then notice any emotion, sadness, annoyance, joy, and let yourself experience it. Then choose one part of your body. Is there movement? A temperature? Is it cold, warm, still, buzzing? What is the texture? I call this body reveals.

These four elements, thought, image, emotion, and body sensation, make up any experience. The only way to move through an experience, and I work with people who have moved through very intense ones, is to feel it. Set a timer twice a day for ninety seconds and run through this. Notice how much more aware you become of your own sensations, emotions, thoughts, and images. Then share it with someone close. Instead of "I'm fine," you might say, "there's a pressure on my chest, it feels a bit cold, a little heavy." Now they truly understand you.

"We are pattern-making machines. As soon as we start to unveil our patterns, that is where the beauty is. Awareness is the first step towards self-love."