He touches you and you register it the way you register a coat on your shoulders. You are somewhere else. You go through the motions. Halfway through, you disappear.
You have probably decided this means something is wrong with you.
Your body is being accurate.
Somewhere along the years, touch started carrying a question inside it. The hand on your waist became a thing to prepare for. You stopped being touched for no reason, for the sheer animal pleasure of it. Your body worked out that touch had a cost now, and it started bracing at the door.
Then the quietest one. You said yes when your whole body said not tonight. You thought you were being kind. Your body logged something else. It logged, my no does not count here. After enough of those, desire stops arriving. As protection. Desire only comes to a body that trusts its no will be honoured.
Why the numbness is intelligent
None of this is a fault. Every piece of it is an intelligent adaptation. The body read the room and adjusted, the way bodies are built to. The love can be fully present while the sensation is gone. Those are different systems.
How sensation returns
Insight does not bring it back. You likely have insight coming out of your ears. What brings it back is structure: a way to be touched that your body can trust, built in small steps that escalate only as fast as your body says yes, with a no that is load-bearing again.
One woman came to me certain the fault was hers. The first time her husband reached for her after we built that structure and her body did not brace, she cried. Twenty years of held trauma has left a body in a single session in my room. A couple who had not touched in 23 years took a second honeymoon after three months. Bodies come back. Yours is not an exception.
I know this from inside my own body, long before I knew it professionally.