Pleasure is one of the most sought after things in life. It can come from a variety of different sources: work, relationships, even food and drink.
But what does it really mean to experience pleasure? And how do we get more of it into our lives?
This article explores the meaning behind this word and explains some ways you can increase your own personal level of pleasure in any area of your life.
How are we conditioned to think about pleasure?
We all want pleasurable experiences and a more pleasurable life, but when it comes to achieving pleasure, we have all, to one extent or another, been conditioned to put our pleasure behind other priorities.
Our culture tells us that we should be working hard, sacrificing our time and energy for the benefit of others.
Pleasure is seen as a ‘luxury’ we cannot afford. This way of thinking can leave us feeling guilty or ashamed if we do take time out for ourselves to enjoy something pleasurable.
There are also external forces, such as the impact of patriarchal and religious conditioning that teach us that people should not enjoy sex too much, or that pleasure is a ‘sin’.
However, the reality is that pleasure is perfectly normal and healthy. It is an important part of our lives and can contribute to our overall well-being.
In order to access more pleasure in our lives, we have to overcome the innate conditioning that tells us that pleasure is bad.
There are many different ways to access more pleasure in your life, so it’s important not to focus solely on sexual pleasures (although there is nothing wrong with them!).
If you want a good place to start, consider how you can increase the number of pleasurable experiences throughout your day and week: what small things could you do or change? What would happen if we did this every day for a month?
We also need tools – such as self-care strategies drawn from therapy and mindfulness practices – which help us overcome our fears about enjoying ourselves and encourage us to take time out for ourselves when we feel guilty doing so.
This way we learn new skills that help relax our conditioned selves. Ultimately these tools help us to rediscover our own pleasure, which we can then bring back into our lives in a way that feels authentic to us.
It is important to note that pleasure is not just sexual; it can be found in many activities, both big and small. The key is to tune into what brings you joy and do more of those things! So why not start exploring today?
What are some things you enjoy doing?
● How can you make more time for those activities?
● What new activities could you try that might bring you joy?
● When was the last time you felt really good without any reason?
● What did you do?
● How can you recreate that feeling again soon?
We all deserve to feel good, without needing a specific justification. Let’s explore our own individual pleasure!
What does pleasure mean to you?
Pleasure can be defined in many ways- it is unique to each individual. For some, pleasure may come from experiencing natural beauty, spending time with friends and family, taking a relaxing bath or enjoying a delicious meal.
These may seem like ‘small’ pleasures, but they can make a big impact on our wellbeing and happiness if we take the time to experience them.
Pleasure can also come in the form of more ‘intense’ and physical experiences- such as sexual pleasure, but this is not always the case. What makes you feel good?
Determining what feels good for you, in all areas of your life, is the first step to experiencing more pleasure.
This is important for your mental, emotional and physical well-being as you need to be aware of what brings you joy in order to feel like yourself again if life gets busy or stressful.
What feels good might also change throughout our lives; it can depend on where we are at with our health status, stress levels, relationships etc.
With this in mind, try not to judge whether an experience was pleasurable or ‘enough’ based on how intense it felt (it could still have made a positive impact!) allowing time after the event before determining its value.
If something didn’t quite feel right when you tried something new but want to continue trying out different experiences then that’s okay too! There may just be some trial and error involved.
What does pleasure even mean?
Pleasure doesn’t just have one definition. It is something that can be interpreted differently by each person.
One way to think about pleasure is that it is a form of self-care. It can be something that you do for yourself, like taking a relaxing bath after a long day or eating your favourite food.
Or it can be an experience you have, like going on vacation or spending time with loved ones.
When most people think about pleasure, they usually think about x activities. While these are definitely pleasurable experiences, there are many other things that can bring us joy. The key is to experiment and find out what brings you the most pleasure.
When it comes to pleasure, there are no rules. You can find joy in anything- from spending time alone to being surrounded by people. It’s all about what makes you happy. So take some time to explore what brings you pleasure and go out and experience it!
What does it mean to have a pleasurable life?
Having a pleasurable life means that we are taking time out for ourselves (both physically and psychologically) to allow us to relax and unwind from our busy lives.
It allows us to appreciate who we are, what we’ve achieved or experienced throughout our lives so far and creates an environment where we want to continue learning about ourselves.
A pleasurable life may include:
● Relaxing with friends/family members
● Experiencing natural beauty
● A daily massage
● A physical exercise which we enjoy
● Listening to music we love
● Watching films/TV programmes which make us happy
● Eating foods that taste great and make us feel good afterwards
● Doing things that challenge us and make us feel accomplished and proud of ourselves.
The above examples all create a sense of pleasure within our lives, but this does not have to be restricted to just these experiences! We can find pockets of pleasure every day by taking time out for ourselves through:
Taking ten minutes in the morning or evening- either on your own or with somebody else (and remember, it doesn’t always have to be sexual!) -to simply breathe deeply and focus on how you’re feeling psychologically as well as physically.
Try doing this when something is troubling you so that you are better able to deal with any issues rather than trying to ignore them until they become bigger problems.
How to have more pleasure in our lives- and no it does not have to be sexual!
the only kind of pleasure we can find in our lives.
There are so many ways to have pleasure in our lives, it just takes a change of mindset. We need to realise that life isn’t all about hard work, struggle and suffering- there is plenty of room for joy and laughter too.
Fitting more pleasure into your life can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to do something you enjoy, whether that’s reading, listening to music, going for a walk or enjoying a hot bath.
Tools for how to increase pleasure
There are some tools and techniques which can help us to experience more pleasure in our lives.
Some of these are:
Meditation: this helps us to connect with our bodies and become more aware of what feels good. It can also help us to let go of any blocks or inhibitions we may have around pleasure.
Yoga: similar to meditation, yoga helps us to connect with our bodies and learn how to move in ways that feel good. It can also help flexibility and strength, both of which can contribute to a more pleasurable experience.
Tantra: this is an ancient practice that focuses on sexuality and the connection between mind, body and spirit. While not everyone will want to explore tantra in-depth, it can be a great way to learn about your own body and what gives you pleasure.
Experimentation: one of the best ways to find out what you like is to experiment! Try different things and see what feels good. This could include trying new x positions, experimenting with different types of touch or even exploring some light bondage or spanking.
Exploration: try seeing your partner’s point of view for a change. Explore what they like and see if you can incorporate some of that into the bedroom with them! If this is something that would not feel comfortable to do, then ask them to show or tell you instead. You could even roleplay it out together so one person gets to take on the dominant role while the other plays submissive – just make sure everyone knows these are roles rather than real-life expectations before going ahead though!
Get in touch with yourself: explore alone too by taking time each day to learn about yourself. This way, when it comes time to share pleasure, nobody will be left disappointed because both people know exactly how their partner likes to be pleasured.
Be present: one of the best ways to heighten pleasure is by being completely in the moment. This means no phones, no distractions – just you and your partner enjoying each other’s company. It is too easy to get caught up in other thoughts or distractions that you forget to enjoy the moment.
Take up a new hobby: time spent indulging in a new hobby is a great way to express yourself. It is an extra bonus if the hobby itself can provide some form of pleasure – like yoga or cooking, for example. You don’t need to be good at your hobby, you just need to enjoy doing it, so it’s very low pressure.
Communicate: this sounds like common sense but it bears repeating – if you know what the other person likes, pleasure will increase for both of you. It may feel awkward at first to tell your partner exactly how they should touch or kiss you (or even where), but over time these conversations will become second nature and lead to increased satisfaction in bed!
Step out of your comfort zone: Pleasure increases when we are vulnerable and authentic; this can only happen if we move ourselves out of our comfort zone. Doing something that we usually would not do can help increase our pleasure threshold.
Increasing the pleasure in our day to day lives
To sum up, pleasure is something that we all desire, but it can be difficult to access and enjoy because of the way we are conditioned.
However, there are ways to increase pleasure in our lives without needing to resort to anything sexual (though there is nothing wrong with them!). If you want a good place to start, consider how you can increase the number of pleasurable experiences throughout your day and week.
What small things could you do or change? What would happen if we did this every day for a month?
We also need tools – such as self-care strategies drawn from therapy and mindfulness practices – which help us overcome our fears. With those tools in hand, we can increase the pleasure we feel in our day to day lives.