Episode 68 Journey to Self-Discovery: Unveiling the Layers with Lynne Forrest

On: Mar 5, 2024

Welcome to another insightful episode of The Scrumptious Woman! In this episode, we dive deep into the journey of self-discovery and personal growth with the incredible Lynne Forrest. Join us as we explore the nuances of victim consciousness, the power of self-responsibility, and the transformative impact of embracing our true selves.

Key Takeaways:

Understanding Victim Consciousness: Lynne discusses how belief systems surrounding unworthiness and inadequacy can lead to victim consciousness, hindering personal growth.
Embracing Grief and Authentic Expression: Drawing from the wisdom of Malidoma Somé, Lynne emphasizes the importance of grieving and authentically expressing emotions for emotional well-being and deeper connections in relationships.
Navigating Anger and Building Trust: Lynne shares insights into the role of anger in building trust and fostering authentic relationships, highlighting the significance of embracing all emotions.
Cultivating Self-Intimacy and Compassion: Juliette and Lynne explore the journey to self-intimacy and the importance of cultivating compassion towards oneself and others.
Humour and Laughter in the Healing Process: Lynne underscores the role of humour and laughter in navigating personal growth, fostering resilience, and maintaining a positive outlook.

Join us as we unravel the layers of self-awareness and empowerment with Lynne Forrest, and discover how embracing our true selves can lead to a life of authenticity and fulfillment.

Resources Links:

Connect with Lynne Forrest: 

Find out more about Juliette Karaman here:


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The Scrumptious Woman EP68

[00:00:00] Juliette Karaman: Ah, I am so delighted to have with me Lynne Forrest, who is an incredible lady. You have been working with individuals and groups since 1973, right? I’m just looking at how you started as a personal growth counsellor and how it then came kind of like meandered and you followed your breadcrumbs until what you are very well known for and how I came across you is the drama triangle and guiding principles for life beyond victim consciousness.

[00:00:41] Juliette Karaman: I remember one of the first coaching containers that I was in coaching programs and you spoke for a weekend and I was like, Oh my God, I’ve got to get to know this lady. So welcome to The Scrumptious Woman.

[00:00:53] Lynne Forrest: Thank you so much, Juliet. It’s so delightful to be here and I appreciate the way you introduced me and that whole idea of the two things that, the drama triangle I call it the victim triangle because no matter where, when you’re on that triangle, it doesn’t matter where you are in victim consciousness.

[00:01:12] Lynne Forrest: . And because you’re seeing a problem that as soon as we start, as soon as we the point, the finger of blame or start seeing it as it shouldn’t be the way it is we can’t go anywhere but down from there. That’s victim thinking because when we, and the universal laws the guiding principles that you mentioned, that is what has separated my work from others.

[00:01:36] Lynne Forrest: There’s a lot of use of the victim triangle, but the understanding that there are actually, there is a higher way of seeing our life. And if we look at our life through those universal laws, they are universal laws, which means they apply on every level, every situation, there’s no where they don’t apply.

[00:01:57] Lynne Forrest: And that makes it so simple, but it is not easy. By any stretch.

[00:02:03] Juliette Karaman: It’s simple, but it’s not easy. And that is one of the things that I love, just the down to earthness of how you explain this. Right now, I remember you drawing those triangle, that first triangle, and then the other, the bottom one, and then now you can flip it, and now you can come out of that and be an observer.

[00:02:24] Juliette Karaman: How we really just recognize it’s We’re so often and I really resonated with the rescuer, right? Half my life I spent rescuing people, not realizing I wasn’t doing myself or anyone else a favor.

[00:02:39] Lynne Forrest: Yeah. It’s that idea. And again, it’s the reason why rescuing doesn’t work is because it’s still based on the idea that there being a problem.

[00:02:48] Lynne Forrest: Yeah. Because as soon as I think there’s a problem, then my mind says I got to fix it. And whose fault is it? Who did this to who? And we get all caught up in the who did it to who idea, which is total focused out there in victim, in the land of victim consciousness. We’re living out there in that world.

[00:03:11] Lynne Forrest: And the thing about it is all we have to do is step back and go is there a kinder way to see this? Is there a way to see this that actually sees that it’s necessary? What if I had to, what if the mess I’m in is the only route home for me? And capital H home. That place of fully remembering who I am.

[00:03:31] Lynne Forrest: What if I, this is the road and this is where I got to go. Then what if I, because of that knew that there was going to be a goal, a nugget in there for me, there was going to be something that’s actually going to expand my consciousness. It’s going to grow me. There’s something that I’m going to get a chance to see.

[00:03:50] Lynne Forrest: that has stood in the doorway and blocked my ability to go forward. It’s, and so if I can allow myself to go, Oh, what can I learn from this? How is this, even this thing that is, I was struggling with and I don’t like it and it should be different and they did it anyway and it’s their fault, all that stuff, which.

[00:04:11] Lynne Forrest: It will never take you to peace. Have you noticed that? It just doesn’t, does it?

[00:04:18] Juliette Karaman: And so true always, but even more now what we’re seeing. Yes.

[00:04:25] Lynne Forrest: Do you realize what a special time that makes this time in our life and that we’re here witnessing it. We’re here with tools that we can actually step up and purvey it.

[00:04:37] Lynne Forrest: To see it from this higher frequency place. And that’s how, that’s what alchemy is. That’s the work we are here doing. You and I and probably every single person that’s listening to this know feels some sort of I, I wanna be part of the frontline. I wanna be part of the doorway that is opening to people who are awakening.

[00:05:03] Lynne Forrest: and who are ready to awaken. It’s an exciting time. There’s a lot of people getting turned on, their lights are getting turned on, and it means they, the first thing they see is how dark they’ve, how much darkness they’ve lived in. The light turns on and man, the dirt begins.

[00:05:20] Juliette Karaman: It’s interesting, right?

[00:05:21] Juliette Karaman: Because I remember when I started turning on, I didn’t know what the heck was happening to me. I just actually recognized the electricity running through my body. Because I’d turn on the light switch in the kitchen, and all the light bulbs would explode, and I was like, Oh,

[00:05:37] Lynne Forrest: Oh, wow.

[00:05:38] Juliette Karaman: I was so actual, physically feeling it, and then I’d walk next to a bus, and then a bus, two buses collided next to me, and I was like, oh, okay.

[00:05:46] Juliette Karaman: And I started becoming aware of that. And not so much oh, I’m the one that’s causing this. Just oh, that’s interesting. Okay. So everything was okay. It’s okay, so now this has happened a few times. Alarms have been setting off. Light bulbs go off. Things stop working. Electronics. I’m like, oh, okay what could this be?

[00:06:09] Juliette Karaman: It’s oh, this body is energy. There’s some kind of energetic. Yeah, it’s electricity. Electricity. Yeah. Setting it off. And now it’s just, Oh, great. And then let’s learn how to maybe hone it a little bit. See

[00:06:26] Lynne Forrest: yeah. Picking up the tools of intention, focus, focused awareness. I think that’s what that stage of our awakening that you’re describing where we become we become aware of emanating a light, a radiating light, a radiation.

[00:06:43] Lynne Forrest: And it can be quite shocking, and to recognize that, okay, there’s a tool, I need to direct it. It’s just like how a hose, like a gardener and his hose. So good. What do you wanna, what do you wanna see more of in your garden? Let’s water that with your intention. Intention is the water that’s pouring through, it’s the fo.

[00:07:05] Lynne Forrest: It’s oh, I wanna focus there and this is what where it

[00:07:09] Juliette Karaman: beautiful way of saying that intention. Thank you. Just to hear about intention so often. And what is your intention for 2024 or for your life, or what’s your dharma? Why are you here?

[00:07:20] Lynne Forrest: It’s just another way to ask the question is where do I want to, yeah, where do I want to aim direct this flow that is coming through me?

[00:07:30] Lynne Forrest: Because that’s what I am. I’m a vessel that just is made to conduct hot, the highest energy or the lowest. We can go either way. There’s no judgment and because, yin and yang, darkness and light, not one or the other. You don’t get rid of one. No, it’s a learning to live together, these two energies.

[00:07:53] Juliette Karaman: Completely right. The polarities, the duality of life. You can’t have one without the other, but what we can have is just release the charge for or against them. Yeah. Okay, then you do become like this vessel coated with Teflon and things just come through you.

[00:08:12] Lynne Forrest: That’s so true. That is so true.

[00:08:15] Lynne Forrest: Allowing that and learning how to not get attached to thinking it’s a somebody. It’s not about who I am. It’s not, this is because I am somebody. It is because I am a conduit. for that energy. And I get to choose. It’s my choice about what energy I want to hook up with. And that will determine the quality of the flow that’s moving through me.

[00:08:40] Lynne Forrest: And which will then implant the field the man, the field of manifestation, which is out here, it will ignite that and bring the same tone. back for my witnessing pleasure. And this is how I grow and expand. Isn’t that amazing? I love

[00:08:59] Juliette Karaman: it. For my witnessing pleasure.

[00:09:01] Lynne Forrest: Yes, that’s right.

[00:09:03] Juliette Karaman: I have to do this.

[00:09:04] Juliette Karaman: I have to attune to this. And I have to I must do this. And when I hear people saying that, talking about the law of attraction and the field and the this and that, it’s I must, and I’m like let’s take some of the vocabulary out and let’s

[00:09:19] Lynne Forrest: Make it simple. Yeah. Because it is. It really is.

[00:09:23] Lynne Forrest: It really is. It’s just, I’m just a, and I get to determine I get to, to create an art piece and turn or, and it can be a shit show,

[00:09:33] Juliette Karaman: And oftentimes it might be part shit show and part,

[00:09:36] Lynne Forrest: Count on it. If you’re going to expand, people, I laugh when people say.

[00:09:41] Lynne Forrest: I’m drama free. No drama here. I’m like going, Oh, man, you don’t even want that to be true. Of course you want drama. You’re here to ride that pony, and to take that roller coaster. You’re here. Think about the human spirit, like all these universal studios and all these things.

[00:09:58] Lynne Forrest: You go there and if you don’t get the pants scared off of you, then, there’s, you haven’t got your money’s worth. I

[00:10:04] Juliette Karaman: haven’t done a good job,

[00:10:05] Lynne Forrest: But and so we do, we we actually attract to a situations that will wait. That’ll shake us up only in the places that need to be shook up.

[00:10:15] Juliette Karaman: So true. So tell me, Lynn, you have been doing this for over 50 years, right?

[00:10:22] Lynne Forrest: No. I, let’s see, I went into my own private practice. I started in 1985 and then before that I was training and, teaching within an HMO kind of, I was doing counseling kinds of stuff, but I did not go the academic route.

[00:10:38] Lynne Forrest: I went I was trained on the job. I got hired by a health maintenance organization and then I got to study with these masters. I got to work, my Gestalt teacher was actually a student of Fritz Perl. I don’t know if you know who that is, but he’s the one that created Gestalt therapy. Which we still we had these bases.

[00:11:01] Lynne Forrest: And so a lot of what I came from was that, from that kind of base where you learn how to recognize your feelings and give them a voice and allow them to, and speak to these different parts of yourself and that sort of thing was some of what I was doing back then. And then transactional analysis was the other.

[00:11:21] Lynne Forrest: Modality, which had the scripts people live, the stories we live out. This stuff is what we’re learning now is just, in today’s vernacular, vocabulary. And so it’s been wonderful to walk, to be able to walk, work with people like I’ve been able to work with families into the third, now entering the fourth generation.

[00:11:45] Lynne Forrest: Oh,

[00:11:46] Juliette Karaman: isn’t that wonderful.

[00:11:48] Lynne Forrest: And you get to see the family lineage, you get to see how the beliefs of that family or of that culture come through and down through, and to work with people from each level and a family that has, is awakening that many generations. Think of that isn’t that awesome?

[00:12:09] Juliette Karaman: And the path that then gets created exactly. Afterwards, it’s it’s, yeah it’s definitely a very special. and they might always say that, it’s a very special time to be alive, but I feel like there are a lot of young souls or a lot of young

[00:12:25] Lynne Forrest: kids and Knowing souls that come in with, oh my goodness, I took me a lot longer than, they come in knowing things or they’re just already, and that’s because the time, the times are calling for it.

[00:12:39] Lynne Forrest: Because this is the time we really are being presented with the choice of what we want to create for ourselves from here. We can create the hell, which is right up, it’s pressed around us. We can stay focused on that. Remember where we aim our intention. And so that’s where I’m putting my attention and I’m feeling all the, oh, the fear and the anxiety.

[00:13:02] Lynne Forrest: I don’t trust people and this is an energy that I’m now radiating. And guess what kind of energy it’s going to attract?

[00:13:10] Juliette Karaman: Now you’re going to pull that right

[00:13:12] Lynne Forrest: back in. It’s not because you’re good or bad or right or it’s none of that. It’s because that’s the way energy works.

[00:13:19] Juliette Karaman: Isn’t it just very simple? It’s just simple.

[00:13:23] Juliette Karaman: It’s not easy, but it’s simple.

[00:13:24] Lynne Forrest: That’s right. That’s right. And or we can say, and like you are, you’re, there’s so many of us that are saying, I’m going to love it. I’m going to find a way to look, to see that every single thing I encounter is something that I love. I did that. I called that in. And I called that in for me.

[00:13:49] Lynne Forrest: And now I want to ask myself, in the observer, I want to observe it and say what are you here to teach me? What can I learn from this right now? And that’s how we expand. That’s

[00:14:02] Juliette Karaman: the beauty with your consciousness tools, and then really that consciousness triangle, the victim, the observer, and the perpetrator, right?

[00:14:15] Lynne Forrest: The rescuer. The rescuer. The observer, we, is actually, we step, that’s when we step out. So you’ve got the victim at the bottom three and

[00:14:23] Juliette Karaman: then observer is the fourth one. Yes, absolutely. Sorry. I,

[00:14:26] Lynne Forrest: that’s all right. Yeah. And so each of these, and we play them all and we do them with ourselves, we first of all, we believe a story that we’ve never questioned, probably at about the time that you met me, which I don’t know, but I’m guessing that’s been eight years, 10 years because I’m just remembering that time period of when.

[00:14:49] Lynne Forrest: Yeah. When I was doing those rounds, and I remember I would stand up to a crowd of you and your folks and. I would stand up and say, did you know that we do not have to believe what we think? And I would look around the room and people would be going, what are you talking about?

[00:15:06] Lynne Forrest: It’s never occurred to them to question what they think. It’s just if I think it must be true. And the truth of the matter is when we believe it, we will think it into being true because we will feel and act as if it is. So say the universal laws. And the thing about universal laws are they always apply.

[00:15:29] Lynne Forrest: They’re one of the rare things in life that always, no exceptions, they just are what they are. And and that gives us such a security in them because you can stand in that. You can stand in knowing universal law says that I encountered this for a reason and that it’s not. It’s not a problem.

[00:15:48] Lynne Forrest: It is for me. It’s here to awaken me. What in me is, am I being asked to own and love? Forgive. Accept. Oh, there’s negative parts. That’s the word. That’s it, isn’t it? And isn’t that the work you do with women? Help them remember.

[00:16:07] Juliette Karaman: I really, yeah, I help them remember also their bodies and how to find pleasure in that and how to look at our own bodies and just.

[00:16:16] Juliette Karaman: Yeah, appreciate them. We’ve grown up with so many belief systems thrown down our throat and yeah, you add a little bit of cultural mix and living in different countries and different languages and you’ve got just like a melting pot of beliefs and of thoughts that we And we’re just

[00:16:35] Lynne Forrest: sorting through them and so we have to have these challenges come up in our life.

[00:16:40] Lynne Forrest: We have to have these situations that help bring to the light that which is unseen gets in the way. I can’t move past it because I don’t even know I have it. I just know that, I just, I’m not like that or I’m like that. I’m just like that. I can’t, it’s that kind of identifying with the block.

[00:17:01] Lynne Forrest: It’s just a blocked energy.

[00:17:03] Juliette Karaman: Isn’t it true? And so often when I coach people and they’ll be like, but I don’t want him or her to be like this. And then I know this is what I don’t want. I’m like, Oh, okay, let’s turn that inwards. Where are those traits that you just don’t like about yourself? There you go.

[00:17:20] Juliette Karaman: That’s it. Like you say, it’s every time, right? Like we were talking about being the light and actually just radiating out and then knowing that, ah, we’re going to get some people not liking it and trying to shut that down. And I’ve had lots of this happen, and I’m sure you’ve had this over the years.

[00:17:38] Juliette Karaman: And instead of poor me, what’s happening to me being on that, being the victim, it’s oh, Interesting, okay.

[00:17:45] Lynne Forrest: Yeah, it’s time to shed another skin, it’s time to another layer of. of unhappy beliefs, and we have plenty of material. The universe, downloaded a wagon full.

[00:17:57] Lynne Forrest: We go back there, there’s sometimes they say for up to 40 generations, we carry the lineage in our DNA. So it, these setups, like a setup being an abandonment theme or a, seeing a suicide, lineage that’s come down and because, it’s really interesting in the years that I’ve been working with people, long time as we already established.

[00:18:21] Lynne Forrest: And so I’ve seen quite a bit of people who are suicidal, have been suicidal or, and I can’t think of anyone that I worked with that was suicidal, that didn’t have suicide in their lineage. Where it was part of it and it’s so it’s and so that’s the thing that’s being asked to be brought up and faced.

[00:18:43] Lynne Forrest: That’s the thing and in the thing is that when you when I when one of us actually Faces that part of our lineage without making it a problem that we have it That it is actually something that’s come to heal, that’s come to, when we do that, then what happens is it clears it and the whole image is suddenly Because we’ve released the energy.

[00:19:08] Lynne Forrest: So when we own it and when we own it with compassion and with, and not with, oh, what’s wrong with me, but with a sense of, that is, I’ve carried that all in my life. . And it’s something that I’m now getting to

[00:19:22] Lynne Forrest: allow, accept with some tenderness, some kindness. . Because then what happens is it’ll come on up and through. But if I’m doing this, I’m actually making it bigger because what you pay attention to gets bigger.

[00:19:37] Juliette Karaman: Yeah, and also what you resist persists, right? Yeah, exactly. I’ve worked with a lot of parents of suicide.

[00:19:46] Juliette Karaman: of youngsters of like in their teenage or in their early 20s kids that committed suicide. And somehow I’m attracting them. And yeah, I think I’ve had quite a bit of helping people pass over and a lot of grief in my life with grief. And the beauty of it is that they come and they’re so pessimistic about life and how could this have happened to them their child was

[00:20:13] Lynne Forrest: perfect and it must be I’m not deserving or there’s something wrong with me or it’s my fault or yeah I

[00:20:20] Juliette Karaman: the beauty is how when you see people change when all of a sudden they realize Maybe not what a gift it is because, they find that difficult to say.

[00:20:31] Juliette Karaman: I’m like, fine, you don’t have to say it’s a gift, but they do see where that had them change. That had them radiate out and so often they start setting up charities or they start doing this kind of work and helping others. And it’s just sometimes that’s all, that’s what happened, right? And they came in.

[00:20:52] Juliette Karaman: The pair.

[00:20:52] Lynne Forrest: That line. Yeah. Following their path. I like what you said about breadcrumbs, following the breadcrumbs that, that, that gets sprinkled and to go with that and trust our path, trust our journey. We are, we get so caught up in this idea that I’m doing it wrong and how in the world can you do it wrong?

[00:21:14] Lynne Forrest: You can’t, you, yeah you may do it where there’s pain involved, it may be painful, but there’s no, there is no growth fertilizer like, like pain. Suffering, grief. It expands us in ways that nothing else can. And especially if we are here to sit with others in their grief or pain or anger or hurt, it’s really important that we honor that place in ourselves, that we know how to do that.

[00:21:44] Lynne Forrest: Because how can I do it? With you if I can’t do it with me. And yeah, so that just being able to be with ourselves and this is the, this is a really, I’ve been hyping on this one a lot lately. Hyping is not the right word. Just nailing it just because I’ve just really seen That where we seem to get stuck at right now when the people that I’m seeing and working with and listening to and where I see them stuck is in that place of self judgment, accusation.

[00:22:22] Lynne Forrest: They just, they should be different than the way they are. That’s what the belief is. And and it’s just not, I’m not good enough as a result. I don’t serve. I can’t have. I have to, and I have to keep it silent, not talk about it. And all of these things actually they just build it.

[00:22:44] Lynne Forrest: And if we believe on any level in our, in unworthiness of. Then to that degree, we’re going to be reacting to the world and, and to ourselves, so we’re going to be pushing away and hiding and defending and rationalizing. And that makes us dangerous. Do you remember Maladoma Sommé? Did you ever get to see him?

[00:23:06] Lynne Forrest: Yeah. Yeah. I loved him. Yeah. One of the things that when I first met him many years ago he said his assignment from his the wise men of his village, they sent him to the United States. They sent him to the United States because they said the Western man does not know how to grieve and that makes him dangerous.

[00:23:31] Lynne Forrest: Because when we don’t know how to grieve, when we can’t accept it, when we’re down on it, then we’re going to do all kinds of stuff not to feel it. And that, and it’s going to be stuff that It’s painful stuff. So he, at that point, when I met him, this was back in 1990s, early 90s with melodoma. He was with the men’s movement at that point.

[00:23:53] Lynne Forrest: There was a whole awakening among men that was happening because I was working in the field and had You know, my fair share of men working with me. And so I was staying up on this too, and going to workshops with James Hillman and some of the guys that Robert Bly and blah, blah, blah.

[00:24:11] Lynne Forrest: Anyway, I’m just remembering that whole thing. One of the things that, that you learn is that until you can get angry, you can’t trust. Until I can get angry with you and find out that I can live through it and come out on the other side and that we can, that we can’t trust. We can’t trust because, I don’t know how you’re going to react if you knew this about me.

[00:24:34] Lynne Forrest: So I’m not going to tell you because I’ve already decided it’s bad and unacceptable. So I’m not gonna let you know. And this means I have to do things to. Am I getting off on a roll here? Oh no, I

[00:24:45] Juliette Karaman: love it because it’s just, for me, it’s just like peeling back the onion, right? The layers of skin of, really where, how can we be intimate with someone else if we’re not intimate with ourselves, if we can’t feel things?

[00:24:58] Lynne Forrest: I can’t sit with me. How can I expect you to? I’m not going to expect you to. Yeah. And, yeah. So this is, to me, this is the place where we are working it right now really, and so we’re drawing to us these situations. Every single situation that each and every one of us face is made especially for us.

[00:25:20] Lynne Forrest: And for our growing opportunity.

[00:25:23] Juliette Karaman: And that’s just so beautiful to come back to that every time when, I don’t know, you didn’t get the job that you wanted or you didn’t get the house or the husband or the this or the that, or there’s just that one moment where you’re like, ah, that didn’t quite go.

[00:25:39] Juliette Karaman: That’s it. Oh,

[00:25:40] Lynne Forrest: what? Where is it? Can I love me anyway? Yeah. Can I? Yeah. Can I love me right here? Or even here? And what would that look like? What is that part of me that feels like I blew it? Or I, what does that part, need from me. Completely. What can I do for him? And

[00:26:01] Juliette Karaman: that’s it, right? Where can we look inside those parts of ours and have compassion for them?

[00:26:06] Juliette Karaman: And there are so many different ways to approach it. And I know that you’ve got such a wealth of them.

[00:26:13] Lynne Forrest: Am I not a blessed woman? To be here on this planet at this time and the evolution of the world. It is just I’m like, front row seats, guys, where you just get to. And for me, it’s creating the world that I want to live in for me.

[00:26:32] Lynne Forrest: I get to create the kingdom of heaven is mine to water into being. Or I can, plant some weeds in there and get a lot of experience for, what that hap, what happens when I grow those things that are coarse and harsh and maybe poison toxic and all those things. They have their teaching place too.

[00:26:53] Lynne Forrest: They teach a lot.

[00:26:55] Juliette Karaman: They teach so much. I love this. So you have been teaching this for a while. I know that your children are also. Yeah. Your grandchildren. I don’t know about that.

[00:27:07] Lynne Forrest: My grandson, who is now 21. But he was totally raised with this stuff because his mama and I were doing workshops and she was my right hand woman.

[00:27:22] Lynne Forrest: Chiquita, who’s still, right here doing the work and just amazing, her consciousness. But she’s still very human. She has her situation. She gets triggered, but like the rest, like I said, in our family, we don’t see that as a bad thing. We see that as a learning opportunity. So it’s a very different attitude around it.

[00:27:41] Lynne Forrest: But yeah, so she still works. And then my son, Andrew started, he’s, he started out as a massage therapist, he’s a dancer and a master of ballet and dance. He teaches and now has his own production. And but he and I actually work with a group of men together. And that has been so much fun. We’ve really been enjoying that because the commitment is to, it’s a, we keep it a small group because we want to, it to be intimate.

[00:28:09] Lynne Forrest: We want it to be a place that we can continue for as long. Do you know I have a women’s group? It’s been all women. It didn’t start out being a woman’s group. It just, Mostly, it was women mostly that came and over the years they have been with me. This group has continued, has not missed a Wednesday night since 1987.

[00:28:29] Lynne Forrest: I don’t mean that. I love it. Yeah. Wow. I have women in there, like the oldest member of the group is in her eighties and she has been there since 19. 87. And not because they’re stuck in their stuff, but because we do that for each other. We just remind each other of the principles. There’s no, the way it’s lasted this long is because we don’t triangulate, there’s no blame.

[00:28:58] Lynne Forrest: And if somebody says, I’m projecting this onto you and I’m making you the problem, then we get, we, that’s a doorway for them to go, where is that in me? And so it, it takes out the, Need to make somebody wrong or some, that kind of thing. So it just occurred to me, my son was the one who said, mom, let’s work with a group of men.

[00:29:17] Lynne Forrest: You do, you’ve got a group of women, work with a group of men. And when I say it’s open, it doesn’t mean the same people, only I’ve got, like she is from the, she’s who’s left from that era but people come and go, like we have people who come and then they’ll go and I’ll add a new person.

[00:29:34] Lynne Forrest: And so it’s an, it’s just an ongoing, but the group itself has been. Going on,

[00:29:40] Juliette Karaman: going. Wow, 78. That’s incredible. 87. 87, all the way around, dyslexia must be at heart.

[00:29:49] Lynne Forrest: I’m pretty old already, let’s not make it that far back. Oh

[00:29:53] Juliette Karaman: my goodness, I love this. If people are drawn to you because, how can they not, right?

[00:29:59] Lynne Forrest: Yeah, that’s what I figure, what’s not to love? That’s been my observation. I’m having a good time.

[00:30:06] Juliette Karaman: Where would you, if you look back at yourself like 40 years ago and you’re just on this journey what advice would you give people where to start?

[00:30:16] Lynne Forrest: 40 years ago, I was working with an Indian medicine man who sent me out and he would send me out.

[00:30:23] Lynne Forrest: To face life and challenges like he, he had me walk through he he had me walk through my apartment and pick what I was going to take with the idea that I wasn’t coming back there for at least a few months until he, I would feel the call. And I lived on the streets. I did it purposely because it was about, it was that kind of stoicism idea that what you go through and face makes you stronger, like putting yourself in places.

[00:30:53] Lynne Forrest: So I’d sleep under bridges, I slept on, had a rooftop in Berkeley, California that I, that I knew about. I could take the elevator all the way up to the rooftop and have the rooftop all to myself, my, my daughter Jaquetta actually went, was with me once when I slept on the rooftop.

[00:31:09] Lynne Forrest: I’m just now remembering. She was two. She’s 47 now. No, she’ll be 50. She’s coming up on 50.

[00:31:17] Juliette Karaman: Wow. That would be a little bit hardcore for people to do it that way. What are like not so hardcore things? What your grandson, what?

[00:31:25] Lynne Forrest: Oh yeah. It is. So what is, what are you asking me? What, are you asking me what tools to use to, for awakening?

[00:31:33] Lynne Forrest: Yeah, just

[00:31:33] Juliette Karaman: What if this is someone that’s just starting to think hey, the world, there’s more out in the world than I’m actually seeing. I noticed that I’m blaming a lot of people and I actually. want to look towards myself a bit. How do I, how do you

[00:31:48] Lynne Forrest: start there? I think just even acknowledging that to ourselves.

[00:31:53] Lynne Forrest: And then I would get a copy of the guiding principles. You can get them on my webpage and or actually, yeah, Google me on and YouTube and see what you can find. There’s a bunch of videos out there of, and there’s actually a set on the guiding principles, but the guiding principles give us a way to look at instead of seeing, instead of reacting in our, and we’re habituated.

[00:32:16] Lynne Forrest: We’re gonna react in the old habits and that’s to be expected. We’re gonna, now we begin to bring the rescue triangle, the victim triangle into it and we begin to ask where am I on the triangle right now? And if I were to step off of the triangle, which would mean taking 100 percent self responsibility, the ability to respond to self rather than point out there, ask, how is this for me?

[00:32:43] Lynne Forrest: What is it showing me? What part of me does this? Just today I got with a family member. I had the opportunity to say, I’m projecting this stuff on to you that I’m do that I see it’s my stuff because the truth of matter is I’m seeing that the thing I’m wanting to Make you bad for doing is the thing I’m doing And I just want to, I just want to own it right here, right now and let you know that they, being a family member and we, this is the way we work together he just, he said nothing.

[00:33:14] Lynne Forrest: He didn’t say, yeah, it’s your fault. He didn’t do any of that. He just heard me and nodded his head and then talked about where he was, what he what story he talked. So we learned to communicate in a very different way, completely, a lot more peace. A lot more laughter because we, and we laugh at ourselves a lot.

[00:33:33] Lynne Forrest: Like my kids like to tell stories on me, cause I’m a crazy woman. And so they have great stories they like to tell and, y’all get in it. Maybe you’ve had this in your family. You do your girls do this. I’m imagining the twins and I would get together and say mom, when she, anyway, this is what my kids do.

[00:33:49] Lynne Forrest: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And so then I get such a kick out of it. It’s really? Did I say that? Are you kidding me? I can see how probably I did, oh yeah, they tell stories about. Laughing together and recognize that you’re on a journey and it’s taking you somewhere. And if you begin to tune into the journey and ask questions.

[00:34:09] Lynne Forrest: Get my book. It’s a step by step about how to recognize where you come from and yeah. It’s a

[00:34:18] Juliette Karaman: beautiful way for people to start. I will have all the links in the show notes, the guiding principles of life beyond victim consciousness.

[00:34:29] Lynne Forrest: Yeah, you can get it at Amazon. Get the book.

[00:34:33] Juliette Karaman: Get the book. Start being curious and bring some humor into it.

[00:34:39] Juliette Karaman: Yeah. Just think like. all the stuff that we put on ourselves is we’re not good enough. We’re not smart enough. We’re not pretty enough. So basically, like not good enough,

[00:34:48] Lynne Forrest: My father, once I was telling him when I first got clean and sober, I went through treatment in 1980, drug and alcohol treatment back then.

[00:34:56] Lynne Forrest: And my father, I was saying, damn, I’m just been so depressed, new and sobriety. And it was just, and I just feel so I feel like I’m. I’m losing my sense of humor and he said, Oh my God, don’t lose that. That’s the only sense you’ve got. So that’s like the way we we like to interact with each other is just hold the mirror up and hand it back.

[00:35:19] Lynne Forrest: Cause you know who’s making, who’s doing this to you wouldn’t be, depression like it feels like it, it feels like it. And, but the place that we begin to take it apart is just to ask, who are you and me and what am I believing that brings that feeling? And when I feel that way, who do I become?

[00:35:39] Lynne Forrest: How do I feel? How do I act? And how would I like it to be? And it’s like we begin to learn How to communicate with ourselves in that way.

[00:35:48] Juliette Karaman: Very simple. Unpicking it bit by bit. And a very simple process. Not always easy. Simple. Keep

[00:35:58] Lynne Forrest: following the questions. Have fun. Keep trying to find the answers.

[00:36:02] Lynne Forrest: The answers, just as soon as you think you’ve got it figured out, you just stop growing. In that area. Something else will hit you on the head.

[00:36:09] Juliette Karaman: You’re not done yet. Let’s pull you down a little bit. Or let’s pull you in a

[00:36:14] Lynne Forrest: different direction. But questions just open more doors. Questions, all the questions. Ask the questions. I

[00:36:21] Juliette Karaman: love it. Lynn, this has been delightful. I love it. How I came, how your, how my attention got back on you. It’s not like you ever left, but one of my, one of my students was actually one of the ladies in my mastermind saying, Oh my God, Lynn Forrest. I’m like, yes, she was one of my first mentors.

[00:36:41] Juliette Karaman: So just how brilliant your work is and how I see people everywhere.

[00:36:47] Lynne Forrest: Thank you for that. That means a lot coming from you, Juliet.

[00:36:51] Juliette Karaman: You’re welcome. But I just love that. Through another connection, we got connected again and I’m like, oh my god, yes, this is brilliant. This is something that everyone needs to hear.

[00:37:03] Juliette Karaman: Thank you for what you do and for who you be and who you are.

[00:37:08] Lynne Forrest: Thanks for recognizing it as a good thing and grabbing it. I can hear, it’s delightful for me to listen to you because I can hear flavors of the work that I’ve brought. Through in you, and so it’s it’s so cool. She’s really been listening.

[00:37:22] Lynne Forrest: She’s been reading, she’s been doing the

[00:37:24] Juliette Karaman: work. Oh, I’ve been doing the work. Sometimes I’m like, can I just run away and not do this? Exactly. Sometimes I

[00:37:32] Lynne Forrest: try to run away, but yeah, every time I get there I am. I’ve already beat me to the post.

[00:37:38] Juliette Karaman: Mama, you and your woo stuff. And then actually.

[00:37:41] Juliette Karaman: Some things do start dropping in and now they’re like it’s this and it’s that and I look at them like, you’re 22. Are you already saying this? I love it.

[00:37:50] Lynne Forrest: Are you girls 22?

[00:37:51] Juliette Karaman: Yeah, my girls are 22. My boys are 24 and 25. Yeah.

[00:37:57] Lynne Forrest: My youngest is going to be 50 soon. So that’s the youngest.

[00:38:01] Lynne Forrest: My son, who is 56, 55 or 56, he is still performing as a dancer. He’s still dancing.

[00:38:09] Juliette Karaman: Isn’t that awesome? It’s amazing. And that’s also really how we get the Doing, doing

[00:38:15] Lynne Forrest: what we love.

[00:38:16] Juliette Karaman: Yeah, that’s it. Doing what we love, moving our bodies. I love how you’re co creating stuff with your family.

[00:38:24] Juliette Karaman: Incredible. Lynn, it’s been an utter delight. Thank you so much for coming on. Have a wonderful rest

[00:38:31] Lynne Forrest: of your day. Thank you so much. You too. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. Thank you.

[00:38:37] Juliette Karaman: Thank you.

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