Episode 63 Unlocking Your Potential Embracing Self-Love and Morning Routines for Mothers with Ciara Burton

On: Feb 13, 2024

Welcome to another inspiring episode of The Scrumptious Woman! In this conversation, Ciara Burton and Juliette delve into the transformative power of self-awareness, self-love, and morning routines, particularly for mothers navigating the complexities of life and parenthood.

Summary:

Ciara and Juliette explore the concept of the “sacred pause” as a means of rewiring neural pathways and embracing new possibilities. They emphasize the importance of self-love and attunement, highlighting the need for mothers to prioritize their own well-being to better serve their families. The discussion touches on the significance of unbecoming old patterns and beliefs to reveal one’s true identity and purpose. Both speakers share personal anecdotes and practical tips for implementing morning routines and finding peace amidst the chaos of daily life.

Key Takeaways:

  • Self-awareness and self-love are foundational for personal growth and fulfillment.
  • Embracing the “sacred pause” allows for conscious choice and rewiring of neural pathways.
  • Prioritizing morning routines nurtures mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
  • Unbecoming old patterns and beliefs is essential for revealing one’s true identity and purpose.
  • Mothers must prioritize self-care to better serve themselves and their families.

 

Don’t forget to share this episode with anyone seeking inspiration and practical strategies for personal growth and self-care!

Resources Links:

 

Join Ciara Burton’s Becoming Her program for a transformative journey towards self-discovery and empowerment.

Connect with Ciara at: https://www.ciaraburton.com or https://www.TheLifeCoachForMoms.com.

 

Find out more about Juliette Karaman here:

 

 

Don’t forget to Rate and Subscribe to stay updated with all of the latest shows and resources.

 

Please leave a review so more people can tune in and the ripple effect spreads further.

 

Take a screenshot of your review and send it to me on https://www.instagram.com/juliettekaraman/ and you will be given access to a free group Spinal Attunement session. These have been life-changing for my clients!
Transcription:

The Scrumptious Woman EP63

[00:00:00] Juliette Karaman: Hello, my lovelies, back for another day, another episode of The Scrumptious Woman. And with me, I have Ciara Burton, who is an incredible coach, a mother’s coach, a parenting coach, and has had Incredible success, both of her own children and also leading people through one of her signature programs. I think you’ve had 800 people run through your program, right?

[00:00:28] Juliette Karaman: Tell me, what is it called and how did you start? I’m a mom of four kids, so I can understand that, you help people overcome burnout and perfectionism and all of this, but how did you start?

[00:00:40] Ciara Burton: Yeah, thank you for asking. So the 800 individuals was really born out of not this specific program, but out of my whole coaching history, which began in 2009.

[00:00:52] Ciara Burton: So I was an early adopter to the coaching space. And what’s interesting is this was prior to having children. I had a lot of success teaching about mind management and really learning how to get out of the future, which is where anxiety lives, fearing worst case scenarios, future planning, for what could go wrong, right?

[00:01:15] Ciara Burton: And then also getting out of the past where shame, resentment and guilt live when we replay events over and over. Again, in our mind and that our vibration dilutes as we make ourself wrong and as we suppress our self expression based on the judgment we have about ourselves from a previous moment.

[00:01:38] Ciara Burton: So most of my work had to do with, aligning the body with the mind. Initially, in my early days of coaching, and then when I became a mom, I had it real, real rough. My birth was challenging. I had a home birth that lasted almost three days because labor started, stopped and started and then stopped.

[00:02:00] Ciara Burton: And while I felt at that time that I was wholly prepared for this experience and I had done everything I possibly could, because as a coach, that’s just what I do. I plan, I prepare. I’m ready. No one can prepare you for what childbirth could really be like, especially natural childbirth. And in my three days of labor at home then followed by a NICU visit due to rapid breathing from my son.

[00:02:30] Ciara Burton: I felt I was immediately sent into the trenches of what I would call a dark night of the soul moment. And what’s interesting about that is as an expert in mind management, in vulnerability, in self expression, in really selling yourself. And the qualities that make you, I promise you this, you can not mind management your way out of dark night of the soul experiences.

[00:02:58] Ciara Burton: And that’s really where my coaching practice truly evolved, in the depths of my own pain and suffering, all of the past stories and patterns that I felt I had worked through prior to then came back and they came back

[00:03:14] Juliette Karaman: laughing, but I’m hearing you. We. So I so hear you like, yes, they come back with a

[00:03:21] Ciara Burton: vengeance.

[00:03:22] Ciara Burton: You’re birthing a child, but you’re actually birthing a new you, right? And the new you is different than the you that you were right before the baby came. So there was a part of me that it was applying my old techniques to the new me. And it just wasn’t working, especially as the caretaker of another soul, a caretaker of a baby who.

[00:03:44] Ciara Burton: Had come out of the NICU with antibiotics that were unnecessarily needed for him. So we still had to stay to finish them, even though he didn’t have an infection and didn’t need them. So it was a pretty traumatic 10 day experience after a three day home birth. And I was just feeling empty and lost.

[00:04:02] Ciara Burton: And with this new soul to take care of, I felt overwhelmed by the responsibility and like I was struggling to help him acclimate. To life in this world. So both of us, my son and I were on the struggle bus and I probably stayed there for a while, for definitely a six month experience where I was then called in a way to my knees, palms up to the sky, in the trenches, just openheartedly praying for answers.

[00:04:34] Ciara Burton: And over the next six months or so, I was really called to soul. And really called to look at physically I’m doing everything I can to get my mind into the right place. And from a mind management perspective, I’m doing what I know to do to tend to the garden that is my brain. But what’s missing, and what was missing, was the soul element.

[00:04:58] Ciara Burton: It’s diving deep into the heart. And for the next few years, that’s really where I spent a lot of time is discovering and uncovering matters of my own soul. And I would say that’s what separates me now from the sea of coaches is with women who are feeling stuck and lost in their identity, wondering, who am I, what is my purpose?

[00:05:21] Ciara Burton: And all the while they’re navigating daily anxiety and also the guilt and shame of feeling like they’re getting it wrong. And feeling like the regret of, Oh shoot, I wish I wouldn’t have said that. Or maybe their voice is silent. And they’re stifling what they really want to say because they don’t want it to come out wrong, right?

[00:05:39] Ciara Burton: We work on all of this in Becoming Her, and you can’t be wholly integrated as the you that you are. Me as Ciara, unless you can tap into the body. The mind and most importantly, the spirit. And that was the part of me that I was missing. And so now in my program, Becoming Her, like I said, it was born out of my own suffering and born out of my own need.

[00:06:05] Ciara Burton: And it is changing the lives of mothers on this planet. And I am more passionate about who we get to be for our next generation than even the work we’re doing, with moms, because it’s really all about the kids. It’s about leaving a better world behind for these souls that will one day become our caretakers.

[00:06:29] Juliette Karaman: Completely. And I love how all of us, or most of us teach what we have to learn, right? We have to go through stuff so that we can teach it. And then even from time to time, it’s very humbling because we’ll forget and get. brought down to our knees and it’s whoa, okay. And what you touched upon there, which is so beautiful, is that the children are, our future.

[00:06:55] Juliette Karaman: And I know that you have two boys, I think, two, two children, right? Two boys. I’ve got. two boys and twin girls. Mine are a little bit older. But I also see where years of coaching and hearing me in the background and talking about gratitude and doing things with them like that, and really recognizing and asking them, so what are the qualities that you love about yourself?

[00:07:19] Juliette Karaman: What are the qualities about your sister? These are the things that we do at the dinner table. It’s rubbed off. Both my twins, they’re 22, they’re like, they’re known as the therapists in there. in their friends. And I’ve just noticed that really the kids and these tweens, between teenagers and twenties, they’re so sensitive and they really want, they are the new world that we’re bringing in.

[00:07:47] Ciara Burton: A hundred percent. And what you’re saying here is your children, you’re noticing how they’re becoming the example that you have demonstrated very thoughtfully for them in your home. And that’s really it. A lot of times parents reach for the self help book or the next parenting book because they’re trying to do their way into peace and harmony in the home.

[00:08:12] Ciara Burton: Keyword, do their way. So now they’re hustling and forcing themselves to fit into someone else’s model about parenting, forgetting that it’s always been about becoming the example. And what’s so amazing is you actually don’t need those parenting books. What’s needed is you need to look in the mirror and really ask, like, how am I called to grow into more patience?

[00:08:40] Ciara Burton: Helm, I called as the mom to demonstrate kindness and demonstrate generosity and demonstrate the ability to see one another in their gifts. Helm, I called to be the example. And this is one of the single most important shifts I feel mothers need to make at this time. And it’s to learn how to be more and do less.

[00:09:03] Ciara Burton: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. No. Over consumed with information and we’re sent over analyzing, over thinking, over performing, over scheduling, over hustling. And the calling forward is to learn how to be more in our lives and to do less. Because who are you being when you’re over googling, over analyzing, over hustling?

[00:09:27] Ciara Burton: You’re being stressed. You’re being impatient, you’re probably not being very kind if your schedule is full and you need to get out the door all the time, right? So it’s we’re demonstrating as mothers character traits, virtues, and values. And my question to anyone listening is, Are you proud of the demonstration that you are in your home?

[00:09:53] Ciara Burton: And most women And are you present? Most women would say, I’ve got some work to do.

[00:09:59] Juliette Karaman: And that’s beautiful, right? We’re not shaming anyone, but it’s really, it feels like you’re just like, Hey, let’s bring some awareness here. What, where is your attention when you are on your phone or when you’re behind the computer?

[00:10:11] Juliette Karaman: What are you, what are the children, what are the imprints that they’re getting? that they have to work really hard to fit in or to belong. And this is, we, of course, I’m sure you teach this as well, but these imprints, they soak them up as really early. And it’s really difficult to then, or it’s not, it’s, yeah, it’s a challenge to repattern stuff.

[00:10:36] Juliette Karaman: Nothing is impossible. But these are the things, if we can just, Notice what we’re doing here, repattern it ourselves. And we don’t have to do that. Our kids don’t have to do as much work later on.

[00:10:48] Ciara Burton: A hundred percent. And it’s all about our leadership and our, am I embodying the way forward for my children?

[00:10:58] Ciara Burton: Even in the little moments, like you said, when I’m on my phone and I’m not demonstrating presence and I’m maybe reactive when I get interrupted and I snap or yell and it’s in those moments, I’m teaching them, and I may not realize it. I’m showing them how to respond, in times when they get interrupted, right?

[00:11:18] Ciara Burton: And they will demonstrate what was being demonstrated to them. And so I think it’s just a really healthy check in, no matter how much personal development work you do, to just look in the mirror and occasionally ask Am I proud of the demonstration that I am? in my home. And when you look at your kids and you start to notice, gosh, they barely ever sit still.

[00:11:40] Ciara Burton: And then you turn it back to you and say, do I ever sit still? It’s funny, right? Cause that’s something

[00:11:46] Juliette Karaman: we never, they just reflect back to you.

[00:11:50] Ciara Burton: Exactly. We can start to see how our demonstration actually plays out in our children’s lives. And I’m actually really working on with my two, two boys.

[00:11:59] Ciara Burton: I’m really working on like just sitting in one place. And just being and asking and letting them fill the space and they will magnetize. If I give it just a little bit of time, it really just takes about 90 seconds for them to start to notice that I’m seated maybe with no TV, just the fireplace on and they just gather around me.

[00:12:22] Ciara Burton: And it’s like my energy is calling them forward. Toward you, right? But when I’m buzzing around the house doing all the things, they’re buzzing too. And simultaneously they get louder, and I get more frustrated, and I notice my triggers, right? So it’s all about learning how to influence the energy in your space.

[00:12:42] Ciara Burton: Children respond more so to who we’re being than what we’re saying. So it’s 93 percent of our communication is nonverbal. 93%. That means only 7% of what you’re actually saying to them is being heard and understood. Isn’t that wild? . So parents wonder, that’s

massive.

[00:13:02] Juliette Karaman: 97%. Whoa. 93. 93%.

[00:13:07] Juliette Karaman: So 7% is landing, the rest is physically being picked up or is energetically being picked up?

[00:13:14] Ciara Burton: But then you wonder why parents yell. It’s because they’re not feeling like their words are being listened to. And the shift there is just to look at your embodiment. Who am I being? And if it’s time to go, maybe the mom should just put her shoes on, grab her purse, say it one time and just go get in the car and then see what happens.

[00:13:34] Ciara Burton: Cause notice how usually we’re the last ones out the door and no wonder they’re just lagging behind with us. So that’s what I do. It’s time for school. Let’s

[00:13:43] Juliette Karaman: go. I did exactly the same. So I had four kids in under three years time, which is, madness for anyone, they’re in their twenties now, early twenties, but it was crazy for a while.

[00:13:56] Juliette Karaman: But that was how it was, I’d lay out their little uniforms at night, they’d get themselves dressed, and breakfast was downstairs, everything, the kitchen, the table was set out at night because time management, with four little ones you have to. And it’s okay, we’re leaving now. It’s last one close the door behind you, and I’d get in the car, and I’d wait literally two minutes, and they’d all be there.

[00:14:20] Juliette Karaman: But it did take a little bit of, in the beginning I was like, come on. And then I just, before I, I really started looking into myself, it’s I would get angry and there were little things that would get me upset. When you have For children so quickly in succession, they all talk on top of each other because no one’s being listened to.

[00:14:42] Juliette Karaman: So the whole energy was like explosive, like this volcano about to explode every time to erupt and everyone was trying to get on top of each other. And now when they got a little bit older and now in their 20s, when we all come together for dinner and for lunches and for Christmas and things, I’m like, okay, phones, all of us put our phones away, including me.

[00:15:02] Juliette Karaman: And including your father and including everyone. And actually they really enjoy it. And then often times we’ll spend I don’t know, three quarters of a day without phones, without devices, and really connecting.

[00:15:14] Ciara Burton: I love that, and I love your leadership, and I’m getting this vision of just this mother duckling with all her little babies following behind her.

[00:15:23] Ciara Burton: And that’s really it. That’s what we’re speaking to here. And in that example that you shared, you could be frustrated, feeling not connected to, annoyed, if your kids were on their phone with you. But instead, you said, all of our phones. We’re going, are going in this basket for the sacred time we have together, which we don’t get often now that you’re in your twenties.

[00:15:48] Ciara Burton: And they’re just following your lead and everyone is better off because of it. So what I love about what you’re doing there is you’re taking a proactive approach and you’re holding space for that, which you want as the mother and the space that you want to hold in your home. As the mother, you see so many mothers are living as victims.

[00:16:11] Ciara Burton: Feeling like they don’t have control over their spaces, but we do. We can have control without yelling, without dictating, without putting kids in timeout. Because what’s really true is we’re the ones that need the time out to check in and tune in to that, which we want. And from that place, we can create almost a sanctuary environment.

[00:16:35] Ciara Burton: in our own homes, but it has to be through clarity around the environment we want to create, and then a willingness to just dive in and lead the way forward. Phone’s in the basket. We have three hours to connect. Let’s do it. It’s about being the demonstration. And who needs the time out in this equation?

[00:16:56] Ciara Burton: Most all the time it’s the leader.

[00:17:00] Juliette Karaman: It’s mom or dad. This is what I’ve always said to my mother as my People are like, listen, your kids are going to trigger you, your husband’s going to trigger you, your partner, all of these people are going to activate you. That’s why we’re in a relationship with people.

[00:17:16] Juliette Karaman: And you’re never going to be able to change them, but you can change how you respond to them. Take some time out, spend a minute. Yeah, put a timer on twice a day for a minute. Check in with yourself. Where is your breath landing? What’s happening? What’s your thought? What’s your body sensation?

[00:17:36] Juliette Karaman: What’s the emotion that’s coming up? Really allow yourself to feel those. Experience it. And then you’re back in the present. But otherwise it’s who needs what? Who am I picking up? Where am I? Why are they not on time? You just go into this maelstrom of what could happen, what hasn’t happened, exactly how you started our whole interview, but it’s like you’re not in the present, you’re not in what’s happening right now.

[00:18:02] Ciara Burton: Yes, and one thing that I find fascinating that you’re speaking about that most women are missing the mark on is honoring the sacred pause between what you’re perceiving in a moment and then the reaction that’s coming forward from within you, which is based on your unconscious programming from the past.

[00:18:26] Ciara Burton: So when we learn how to hold space for a pause. Before just reacting, there’s an opportunity to choose, am I going to react or not? And that’s how we begin to shift mold and change our identity and who we’re being in a space. So you may be someone who’s, easily reactive. You may be someone who’s not very patient.

[00:18:54] Ciara Burton: You may be someone who loses your temper, but all of that can change. That’s not really who you are. are at your core. Those are just reactions based on maybe what you were shown when you were a child or through other aspects of life prior to now. And so how do we change our identity? How do we change who we’re being in the space?

[00:19:16] Ciara Burton: We begin by becoming the observer of ourselves in our reality, seeing life itself as a playground. For our own soul’s advancement. And that’s when life gets really fun. When you feel the urge to yell and scream. And you notice it. And then you hold it. And you simply say, Wait a minute, that’s not who I’m choosing to be anymore.

[00:19:45] Ciara Burton: And sometimes you might decide to do it differently in that moment. But even if you just don’t do it the way that you once did it, that’s a victory over the past. And what I say to my clients is you can’t have biceps for summer if you only go to the gym once. And so we have to, I love that, isn’t it good, but it’s true, right?

[00:20:09] Ciara Burton: You have to get your reps in to build muscle. And so every time you notice. A pause, or a space and place where you could pause. That is an opportunity to shift, change your identity in that moment. And sometimes it’s better to just say nothing at all when you’re in transition, right? Because you may not know how to do it differently.

[00:20:37] Ciara Burton: If you’ve been doing it the same way for your whole life. You’re not going to know how to do it differently, but within the pause, you’ll start to see a new route, a new approach, a new path you can take. So I really encourage my clients to go into silence and just watch themselves in their lives, to notice the urge to want to say something, the urge to want to react, but then to just stay quiet, notice the urge and that’s it.

[00:21:05] Ciara Burton: And when you notice. There is an opportunity to choose to do it differently.

[00:21:10] Juliette Karaman: Beautiful awareness, right? And awareness, I keep saying this awareness really is truly the first step towards self love, towards, and self love is. The real path towards ascension, and we’re all waking up as parents, as women, as people on this earth where it’s like we don’t have to stay in these patterns that oftentimes you talked about already aren’t even ours.

[00:21:35] Juliette Karaman: There are parents, there are peers, there are religion, there’s schools, education, whatever, it’s society have programmed us in a way and we’re not even conscious of it. And then we start becoming aware of it, start becoming conscious of it, and all of a sudden it’s Ah! The sacred pause.

[00:21:51] Juliette Karaman: I love speaking about the sacred pause, and I love how you bring that in as well. And it’s a beautiful way to actually rewire those neural pathways. It’s We can do it. We can just train things enough that there is a new neuropath with, that there’s a new way out. The only way out is through.

[00:22:12] Ciara Burton: The only way out is through. And I love that you’re speaking about neuropathways because we work with Quantum physics in the becoming her program. And I would say, and right now we live in Colorado, we moved from California. So I’m looking at, fresh snowfall out my window in the back.

[00:22:31] Ciara Burton: And I always remind people that when, if you’re a skier or even a sledder, when you go up a hill, it’s typical that most people just go down the path that. Most everyone goes where the ski tracks are laid out in front of you. And then sometimes maybe you look to the left or the right and you see a trail that has no tracks on it.

[00:22:53] Ciara Burton: And you might be sitting in curiosity, huh, that looks fun, but is it safe? Can I go there? So there’s curiosity, but it’s just much easier to go down the path that everyone else has gone down before you. And really the shift, I think, We’re all called to make is to start to walk down the paths that are least traveled and start to identify a new, let’s just say, neuropathway in our brain that we’ve never entertained or visited before.

[00:23:24] Ciara Burton: And that’s really when life gets exciting when we realize that we actually can go down a different path, we don’t have to keep doing things the same way we’ve been doing them, and it’s pretty easy to see. amazing results with just a little bit of focus in this way. Would you agree?

[00:23:42] Juliette Karaman: Completely. And I always say they’re little adjustments.

[00:23:46] Juliette Karaman: Yes. I call them attunements, right? We’re attuning, we’re aligning people. It’s just if you think about an instrument, you have to tune it from time to time. Your piano or your guitar, you tune it from time to time. We forget to do that. for ourselves. So this is where a coach, a therapist, somatic, experiencing, all of these things start coming in where it’s like, Oh, I’m just.

[00:24:11] Juliette Karaman: playing my own instrument, but it’s slightly out of tune with what actually I want to call it, what I want to manifest, what the universe is trying to give me, but I’m just, I’m not the magnet, but I’m just repelling it at the moment because I haven’t attuned myself.

[00:24:29] Ciara Burton: Yes, and I love thinking about even the title of the container that I hold, which is Becoming Her.

[00:24:36] Ciara Burton: But what’s so interesting is what you and I are speaking about now is there’s actually most of becoming the radiant expression of ourselves involves unbecoming.

[00:24:46] Juliette Karaman: Unbecoming. I was just going to say it. It’s

[00:24:51] Ciara Burton: unbecoming of our lower nature. So it’s almost like an unfoldment and a letting go of a lot of those layers that we’ve put on over time for protection and security.

[00:25:05] Ciara Burton: And it’s really a stripping down now as adult individuals. of those fears, those stories, those self perceived limitations. So it’s actually more about unbecoming because we are wholly complete exactly as we are, and we don’t need to fix or change ourselves. We just need to really look in the mirror and ask, what is needing to fall away now?

[00:25:31] Ciara Burton: And where am I called to grow in my virtues? So maybe in patience, in love, in kindness, in generosity, in self control. These are noble character traits that if we were to just ask ourselves those questions, we can grow our character. In alignment with fortitude, like big vibrational essences that really pay off when we’re demonstrating the way as leaders for our little ones in the home.

[00:26:04] Ciara Burton: What do I want my kids to know before they leave the nest? I want them to know faith. I want them to know courage. I want them to know unconditional love. I want them to know generosity. I want them to have a very solid. backbone around who they are and how they can give in positive ways to the people around them.

[00:26:25] Ciara Burton: So I know I have to go first. And that’s really what I’m up to in my life. And the women in my community are doing the same work as me. So I’m not exempt from doing this work as the leader. I am still doing this work every day, just getting my reps in, lifting the weights. trying to grow those biceps, right?

[00:26:44] Ciara Burton: For summer, because we have to get our reps in. This doesn’t just happen overnight. We have to subtly attune. Just like you said earlier, we just have to tune up the instrument. And I recommend tuning up the instrument in the early morning hours before anyone is awake in your home. And that’s really where we can connect for me personally, more easily to the soul that lives within.

[00:27:07] Ciara Burton: To our higher self, because the veil is thinner in the morning, and it’s easier to hear the wisdom that is wanting to come through. For most women, the morning routine can be a game changer. Just waking up for yourself, not waking up for the other, can change everything.

[00:27:24] Juliette Karaman: Beautiful. And oftentimes when you have young kids, the morning is, it’s either the morning that you have time or the evening and the evening you just plop into bed and you’re tired.

[00:27:34] Juliette Karaman: We’ve all heard it, right? And part, how I got into coaching is by being a relationship coach. And this is what I would deal with people that have been married for years and the intimacy had just died down. But to start bringing in a practice. That you do for yourself, a morning routine, and whether it’s meditation or journaling or brain dump or going for a walk or, I do different kinds of things.

[00:28:04] Juliette Karaman: It really helps. What if our listeners are like, okay, so I’ve got three little kids, how can I do a morning routine? How would you, what would you tell them?

[00:28:15] Ciara Burton: Oh gosh. The first thing I would say is stop saying you’re tired. Let’s just unpack that for a moment. The two most powerful words that we could say coming out of our mouth are, I am, every time we say I am, we are declaring to the world who we are.

[00:28:34] Ciara Burton: And if we get into a habit pattern and routine where upon first wake up, we realize I’m tired and then we go down maybe to our significant other or spouse and we say, I’m so tired. You’re setting the tone for your entire day. So that’s the first thing that needs to go. My husband and I don’t even utter those words to one another very often anymore at all, but that was a huge game changer because when you start your day feeling tired, your day’s going to look one way.

[00:29:06] Ciara Burton: And when you start your day declaring, I am alive and I am a full bodied expression of love. I am doing my best. When we change the words we say about ourselves in declaration of who we are in the world. Our whole experience that comes after that is different. So number one, let go of the words, I’m tired.

[00:29:30] Ciara Burton: They’re not serving you. And just notice, look around for the next couple of days and notice how that’s true. Number two, start prioritizing your morning routines as if your life depends on it. Because once you get three days in where you prioritize yourself, this is what I say to my community. It just takes three days.

[00:29:48] Ciara Burton: Do it for three days. And hey, if it doesn’t work, go back to your old way. You have

[00:29:54] Juliette Karaman: full permission. Three days is nothing, right?

[00:29:56] Ciara Burton: Yeah. Full permission to go back to how things were, but give it a whirl for just three days and then report back to me and let me know what you notice, right? And I’ve never had anyone come back and report to me that they want to go back to their old way.

[00:30:13] Ciara Burton: Now, is it true that as human beings who are perfectly imperfect, that maybe you get sick and you lose sight of your morning routine, but once you realize how much it can fulfill you and that fulfillment carries you through the day, like I live for that feeling of being inspired and excited before my kids wake up.

[00:30:35] Ciara Burton: I am such a better mom when I am feeling the light in my heart center radiate, right? I’m a more warm, open, loving, slow moving woman and they are attracted to me and they attune to my energy. So they’re less frenetic when I’ve meditated in the morning. They just come right into my vortex and my energy sets the tone, not even my words, sets the tone for the morning.

[00:31:05] Ciara Burton: And then it’s up to me to hold it, right? Because little things could happen. That where I can feel those triggers to maybe lose that groundedness that I’ve really built up in the morning hours. So if you are not familiar with how you could feel when you prioritize yourself before the others in the morning, I recommend giving it three days.

[00:31:28] Ciara Burton: You can do anything. I love to read the Bible. I love to meditate. Sometimes I’ll stretch. Rarely will I do a 10 minute workout. But I have, and that still feels good. Sometimes I get in the sauna. I usually make my decaf coffee with my favorite creamer. Even the act of drinking my coffee in quiet is so fulfilling.

[00:31:50] Ciara Burton: There’s just so many things you can do under the context of creativity. To make your morning routine awesome. Even turning the fire on, buying yourself some fresh flowers. There’s so many ways to tap into your own heart and you are worthy of knowing how to do that in your own home. You’re worthy of having your home feel really good to you like a sanctuary.

[00:32:12] Ciara Burton: And I don’t think that’s the case for a lot of women and mothers. Their home feels like a giant. chore, but it doesn’t have to be that. Yeah, it can be a sanctuary.

[00:32:23] Juliette Karaman: And that’s the thing, right? Because the most I hear is my alarm clock goes off and I’m on. I’m like, ah, so what about we can start putting your alarm clock half an hour before.

[00:32:33] Juliette Karaman: Change the tune of it, change the tone of it, and start taking your time. Maybe you want to take a bath, maybe you want to journal, like you said, maybe pick up a book, whatever it is. And it doesn’t have to be the same every day either. And I think, I’ve been having morning routines, and I fall on and off.

[00:32:52] Juliette Karaman: And sometimes it’s 5 o’clock in the morning for hours. And sometimes it’s healing other people, and sometimes It’s actually staying in bed with my loved one, having a cup of coffee, watching the sun come up. And actually just really enjoying that and cuddling with the dog that comes on the bed early in the morning.

[00:33:13] Juliette Karaman: I’m like, okay, that’s perfect. That’s our connecting time. What are we grateful for? But you start there in such a different way. And I think this is one thing that mothers often feel that they’re selfish if they’re taking time for themselves. But we cannot, I know that everyone talks about an empty cup, but if you do not have any water in your carafe or in your glass.

[00:33:39] Juliette Karaman: You cannot pour any water on your children to help them grow or on the plants around the house. You really do need to fill, make sure that we are filled up, that we are juicy as anything, that we’re scrumptious, that life force that’s running through us is overflowing. And the one way by doing that is having a morning routine.

[00:33:59] Juliette Karaman: I suggest from time to people if they have really young kids and they have a little nap, you go have a nap too and take care of yourself.

[00:34:06] Ciara Burton: A hundred percent. And I think looking around and noticing all the stuff that needs to get done is where we can offer ourselves some grace. It’s like, how do I find peace and comfort in the chaos?

[00:34:21] Ciara Burton: That’s has to be part of it because yes, if you can prioritize that touchdown moment, which I will just, hit the couch, even I, my two kids are now both in school. So I do have some time during the day, but right before I go pick them up, I’ll set my timer for 22 minutes and I’ll put on 532 Hertz miracle tone music.

[00:34:42] Ciara Burton: And I’ll just perfect. I’ll just allow my body to hang heavy in the couch, but really what I’m doing is like calibrating my energy field to a higher vibrational frequency where I’m not rushing from my work day to go pick them up. I’m actually giving myself the opportunity to attune to the frequency that I want to carry before leaving the home to go get them.

[00:35:07] Ciara Burton: So it’s interesting that sometimes women and mothers will place more emphasis on maybe the laundry that needs to get folded. Over maybe a self care act like the one I just mentioned, when if you’re hustling to fold the laundry and then you’re a couple minutes late to go get the kids, the whole rest of your evening will be impacted by that, unless you pull it together in the car and make some adjustments to who you’re being and how you’re showing up in that moment.

[00:35:33] Ciara Burton: So that’s really the biggest shift that I made. I started off this interview talking about the dark night of the soul moment. It was so easy to get caught up in all the things to do. And I felt like I was failing because my child was not easily settled. He had digestive issues. So he was very uncomfortable and I, he cried a lot and that noise was overwhelming to my nervous system.

[00:35:55] Ciara Burton: And what I didn’t know then that I wish someone could have told me. Is that doing all the things is less important and that maybe you just need to sit your butt down and take a nap when he’s napping, because we’ve got to recalibrate because when he wakes up, history shows us that yesterday and the day before he wakes up mad and angry, and how can you get yourself to a place where you can be a loving vessel for his anger and his frustration and his discomfort, and I wish I could talk to my younger self then and just say.

[00:36:28] Ciara Burton: My dear, soften. Soften into this experience. It’s all going to be okay. This is temporary. And the laundry isn’t as important or the mess in the kitchen isn’t as important as your, the experience you’re having right now within yourself. And you need to close your eyes for a moment. You need to rest and recalibrate.

[00:36:51] Ciara Burton: And I wish I would have given myself more opportunity to recalibrate because that’s really where I reached burnout by trying to do all the things and be all the things for everyone. Cancel. I learned that is not my role anymore and that in itself is liberating.

[00:37:08] Juliette Karaman: Beautiful. And I so hear you.

[00:37:11] Juliette Karaman: My second child cried 24, 24, seven, four, eight months. I breastfed him and I had him on in a sling and we were moved from Geneva to London and a new house and new everything. Anyway, it was just like didn’t know anyone there. Husband was traveling the whole time. So my body at one point, yeah.

[00:37:32] Juliette Karaman: I remember with a 17 month old and a new newborn or two month old baby. And just walking around there. And at one point I just twisted my ankle and my body’s okay, got to stop. And that was it. And I was like, okay, we won’t have any boxes that are going to get unpacked. I really don’t care. We’ll have one room that we can be in.

[00:37:54] Juliette Karaman: It’s fine. And that actually helped reset because we put so much pressure on ourselves. And it’s just not necessary. So I love that you are helping women with this. Let’s wrap this up. Tell people how they can get in contact with you, what your course is all about, because it sounds like it’s an incredible, becoming her sounds like an incredible Almost like a movement.

[00:38:19] Ciara Burton: It feels like that. The women that enroll with me stick with me. So we have a community behind the scenes and once they graduate from Becoming Her, which is an eight week program where we’re doing all the heavy lifting. So we are solving anxiety, we are solving overwhelm, we are solving big problems that are coming up in your life.

[00:38:38] Ciara Burton: We are also getting clear on your identity. Who am I? What is my purpose? for joining us. Who am I as a soul underneath all these layers? We get clear on all of that. And once you graduate, you have a game plan for forward movement. You know who you are, what you want, where you’re headed, and you’re able to hold space for that vision for yourself, but also for your family.

[00:39:00] Ciara Burton: So that takes just eight weeks. Even some people who are on maybe a temporary medication. Many of them are able to work with their doctor and get off of their medication within that timeframe, or at least taper it down, which is exciting. Some women also join who have older kids like your kids simply because they’re turning the page into a new chapter and that new chapter is their name with a capital letter, right?

[00:39:26] Ciara Burton: This new chapter is Sierra as a self expressed woman. Juliet has a self expressed woman in this new chapter of her life. So some women come just to understand who am I now and who am I becoming? So it’s fun to have that hybrid because the work is the same. We’re diving deep into the soul and we’re unbecoming in order to become more like the truest version of ourselves.

[00:39:49] Ciara Burton: So ciaraburtion. com, C I A R A B U R T O N. com, or The life coach for moms. com is how you can get connected with me. And at the end of the eight week experience, I have a new offer in which all of my alumni are engaging in now. And it’s called the council, the awakened woman leadership council. And in that program, it’s all about.

[00:40:14] Ciara Burton: Self solving and standing as a sovereign woman in and for your life. I do less coaching because you don’t need me to coach anymore. You can call upon me, but you’re moving powerfully in the world, designing and creating as you go. So that’s been where my heart is lit up now is to take people from the becoming her program into the council, because that’s where I feel we’re really needed.

[00:40:37] Ciara Burton: All of us women who are up to this kind of work really are called to unite. And celebrate one another’s growth milestone moments, but to also hold the light in a planet where that light is feeling like it’s easily dimmed. It’s

[00:40:53] Juliette Karaman: very needed at the moment.

[00:40:55] Ciara Burton: Yes. So that’s what I’m most passionate about because moving into 2024, I sense intuitively that there could be a lot of distraction.

[00:41:03] Ciara Burton: So it’s like, how can we place what matters most? How can we place the meaningful at the forefront of our mind? How can we focus on that versus the insignificant versus get caught up in the distraction versus lose our time mindlessly scrolling on Instagram or wherever you’re mindlessly scrolling or spending time.

[00:41:24] Ciara Burton: It’s really about noticing those patterns and habits, not getting sucked into them and making new and different choices around who you want to become so that you can accelerate toward that vision you hold for yourself and your family.

[00:41:38] Juliette Karaman: Beautiful. It sounds like you have a wonderful community and holding people all the way through and that’s what it is, right?

[00:41:47] Juliette Karaman: The new the new Buddha is a tanga, right? We are a community. This is really how We bring in more light to the world. It has been a pleasure. Oh my goodness. This is, 45 minutes has already passed by in no time.

[00:42:04] Ciara Burton: It was so lovely meeting you. And I’m just proud and inspired of the demonstration that you are, as a mother and a caretaker of children who are older than mine, it’s amazing to hear, about how you’ve been a leader in and for your life for them.

[00:42:19] Ciara Burton: That’s what matters. Our children will be our leaders one day, right? And it is our responsibility to build them up to navigate this world in a courageous way and to not succumb to the victim programming. We can build them up to be designers and creators of their own reality, even if chaos ensues around them.

[00:42:44] Ciara Burton: And that’s really it.

[00:42:46] Juliette Karaman: And that’s the beauty, right? I keep saying it’s like, we can give them roots and wings and let them go, right? It has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. And that is another episode of The Scrumptious Woman. Please share this with everyone that you feel could use a bit of Shara’s beautiful wisdom.

[00:43:12] Juliette Karaman: And if you have anyone that’s a new mom or an older mom or someone that is in a transition period, please share this. Much love.

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