Episode 32 A Journey of Gratitude and Abundance with Shilamida Kupershteyn

The Scrumptious Woman EP32

Tue, Oct 24, 2023 10:03PM • 27:55

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

grateful, husband, gratitude, started, manifestation, car, acupuncture, years, love, happened, single mom, feeling, body, life, vehicle, roller coaster, living, bentley, abundance, sudden

SPEAKERS

Shilamida Kupershteyn, Juliette Karaman

Juliette Karaman  00:00

All right, my lovelies, wash hello to another episode of this scrumptious woman. I have the incredible she Lamido with me she is a spiritual transformation and healthy living lifestyle mentor, podcast host as of the most is 50 Shades of Philomena and branded as the goddess of gratitude. She’s done tonnes of stuff on massage therapist Reiki, to acupuncture and really holistic medicine and has been practising this for over 13 years. So to get really healthy in body, mind, and spirit. She’s also a best selling novelist, author and keynote speaker and inspires others by sharing how she was able to gain a sense of empowerment and create the life of her dreams. After a lot of panic attacks, poverty, and now you really are living the life of your dreams, right? You have three wonderful sons. to it, you call it. Bonus son.

Juliette Karaman  01:11

I love that I’m your husband. So you are surrounded by six males. I am the queen, literally.

Juliette Karaman  01:22

Testosterone. 

Shilamida Kupershteyn 01:23

Thank you so much for having me on your show today. It is delightful. 

Juliette Karaman  01:29

It’s been such a pleasure shall Amina and I are both in this mastermind with Melany Ann Layer, and really have gotten to know each other over these past two years quite a bit. And then when we met in Cancun, it was like, Whoa, this is taking a whole new layer. 

Shilamida Kupershteyn  01:47

Yeah, wonderful meeting everybody in person. It’s like one thing to be through a screen with somebody but then being in personal space and energetics. And it’s just so wonderful. This whole online space is really so wonderful. I don’t think that we actually give it as much credit as we do. Everybody loves to complain about how bad social media is. And you know how terrible all these social media companies are, which I don’t disagree. But at the same token, there’s so much gratitude that I have for this online space because it’s created me financial gain. It’s an even more than that it’s created me the most beautiful, deep connected relationships I’ve ever had in my life. 

Juliette Karaman  02:31

Isn’t that incredible? Right? And who would have thought about this, like 10 years ago? Yes, we were using online stuff, but not in the same way as now. Right? So I know a lot of people say COVID has been bad. And of course, a lot of people have guided has been bad. And there’s also been a lot of positive stuff like right, that is just how the world works. We go through something and then we adapt. And you are the queen of adaptation. So tell us a little bit about your story.

Shilamida Kupershteyn 03:05

So my story goes, I used to be 250 pounds single mom living on food stamps. My life wasn’t always so bad. I had a pretty okay upbringing. My parents were immigrants. So we didn’t know as much as everybody else. We didn’t do as much as everybody else. But in my teens, my father got diagnosed with leukaemia, and then a few years later, my mom got diagnosed with cancer. And so from 17 to 27, all I knew was the inside of hospital rooms, doctors and all the things. And it was really hard. And I really wanted to create something different and live a different life. But my father ended up passing away when I was 26 years old. And three months later, I found out I was eight weeks pregnant with my ex boyfriends baby that I broke up with six weeks prior.

Juliette Karaman  04:01

For that moment,

Shilamida Kupershteyn 04:03

that was definitely a defining moment in my life. I mean, I just wanted to die. The man that I love the most in this world had left this earth and I didn’t know how I was going to live without him. And so he sent me a gift, a little man of my own, and life just took a turn. I broke up with my axe and I started putting things out there in the universe. I just started praying at that point. I had already found Kabbalah so I was already on a spiritual journey. I found Kabbalah when I was about 23 years old. And Kabbalah taught me to become the best version of myself. And so 20 years ago, I wasn’t the best version of myself and it’s taken a really long time to get there but getting pregnant out of wedlock and having that whole experience. My ex was an ex for a reason. And we did try to get back when the baby was little but that didn’t work. And so when I separated from him, I was really ready and I

05:00

I’d really created a boundary around love. And I had asked the universe, please put me on my path, please tell me what I need to know, please help me. And so the universe sent me a new friend. And this friend was very bold and very blunt. And within the first hour of us hanging out, she said to me, you’re really negative. And you complain a lot. And the most powerful thing that anybody could have ever said to me, because at that time, I was open to receiving and so I didn’t get offended by what she said, I actually held on to what she said. And after she left me that day, I started to hear my thoughts before they actually came out of my mouth. And I started to realise like, Oh, my God, this person is right. I am really negative. And so in that same conversation, she started asking me questions. Haven’t you ever heard of the law of attraction? Haven’t you ever heard of the secret? Haven’t you ever heard of these things that are popping up that everybody’s, you know, grabbing on to? And I’m like, Actually, I did. I heard of all the things that the law of attraction I heard of when I was 21 years old, I was had a little side hustle mlm business, I went to one of their rah rah events. And somebody at lunchtime said to me, you need to buy the law of attraction and read it. And so I bought it. I read three pages of it had zero pictures in it, I put it on the bookshelf, I never came back to

Juliette Karaman  06:26

zero pictures.

06:29

You know, I didn’t like to read. Then somebody had told me to read the secret. Well, we know I don’t like to read. So somebody actually gave me the CD SAT. Well, I also do not like to listen, I didn’t like to read. And I didn’t like to listen. So when this beautiful earth angel was sitting in my apartment, asking me all these questions, I’m like, Yeah, I’ve heard of all these things. And in fact, I have everything right here. Like it was literally at my fingertips, I ran to the bookshelf, and blew the dust off of the law of attraction that had been sitting there for seven years waiting for me to open it, right. And so that was a huge pivotal moment in my life. And from that point forward, the basis of my life was to become grateful. And so when I was a single mom, overweight, struggling, it was so hard for me to be grateful, I didn’t realise abundance of what I had, because I was so busy focused on the lack. And I’m gonna slow

Juliette Karaman  07:27

you there a little bit. So this is really one of the key points to take away from this, right? So when you’re single, overweight, focus on the lack focus on what wasn’t going on. And that’s where you change it. That’s where the pivots started. When, you know, your friend said, Hey, you’re negative and and sometimes we need someone like this right? And then then we know we’re in the coaches when they’re mentoring space, sometimes you actually need someone to be reflecting back to you. Hey, this is not cool. You’re not gonna get anywhere. So what happened next, because I’m sure a lot of listeners can can identify this thing. Oh, my God, you know, I’m thinking about the weight. I don’t like my body. I don’t like my husband. I don’t like my kids. I don’t like my life. What the hell, you know? Yep.

08:18

So what happened next is I went on a spiritual Deep Dive. And I really went into self love, and self appreciation and self care. And I really just started focusing on myself. And I dove deep into the spiritual realm. I started reading books from Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Doreen Virtue, Deepak Chopra. And every single person that I read, every single spiritual thing that I discovered was become the best version of yourself, be grateful for your life, right? It was the same lesson, no matter who you went and looked at it was the same lesson. And so I started being grateful. And I started a gratitude practice all those years ago with my little guy who’s now 16. And we started being grateful at night. And so my ex and I had split custody at the time. So the nights that my son was home, it was easy to be grateful, we would be grateful every night, the nights that my son wasn’t home, I would forget, right? And so we go on this roller coaster of life. I love to give this analogy of life and this we have to pretend that we love roller coasters right now. Okay, so pretend you love roller coasters, and you’re getting ready to get online. Right? Amazing, right? You’re at the carnival, with your friends, with your family, whatever you’re about to get on this roller coaster and this is how life goes right life has all these happy moments that we catch on to but then we get on and you the fear sets in right and you get scared and you like I focused on the lack, right? You focus on the fear and all of a sudden You get dropped right on the roller coaster. And so this is the same thing that happens in life. We’re so happy, we’re having such a great time that we actually forget to be grateful, because we’re so in it that we don’t think anything could possibly take us out of it until the drop comes. Right?

Juliette Karaman  10:20

When it’s hanging on for dear life. What’s happening freefall.

10:25

So on a roller coaster, we choose to go on that high, right? We choose to have that up and down. But in life, that’s just the way that it happens. So if we can start being grateful every single day and hold on to that energy, then those peaks and those valleys, they don’t drop so high and so low, we learn to start handling our emotional intelligence to be able to send stuff at us, right? Go back 16 years, the stuff that I’m living through now, there was no way there, there was no way it wouldn’t have even come to me because there is no way that my emotional intelligence, my nervous system, my body could have handled the things that I’m living through now.

Juliette Karaman  11:11

And that’s the beauty right, we learn how to build our capacity, because often, the capacity is very tiny in our nervous system goes. Just kind of collapses. And then very often, we have a great capacity for things that don’t go so well are like, Okay, we cannot this economic body, can I have a little bit more like, okay, okay, I’ll take it, I’ll take it, I’ll take it. But then when we have good things happen to us, then our little nervous system is like, Whew, okay, our body kind of like freaks out our mind or emotion or emotional Why’d our physical, physical body, for example, because emotions are stored in the body. So all of a sudden, we will get ill, there’ll be some kind of disease, we start having, picking fights with our husband, our partners, all of a sudden, that big client or book deal that can no leaves, because we do not have the capacity to actually hold it all. Yeah. So tell me what works? What are two or three things that the listeners can do now to start building that capacity? Because, you know, everyone says, Be grateful, but how do you actually when you are like at the bottom of your life? How can you start being just grateful for one little thing? What? Take us through that?

12:36

Yeah. So all those years ago, what I used to do when I couldn’t be grateful is I actually started thinking about all of the horrible things happening in the world. And that’s where I would put myself I started thinking about the little kids in Africa, that would never wear a pair of shoes, right? If I looked at my shoes, and I was like, not happy with the shoes I was wearing, I would think about the ones that would never wear a pair of shoes. And then I would be grateful for my shoes, I would on a hot summer day. And you have to understand that I hated my window air conditioner, right. So on a hot summer day, I would think about all the homeless people living in New York City, a when it was 105, outside that had zero air conditioning. And all of a sudden, I became grateful for the air conditioner that I had. And so this is what I started doing with myself. I couldn’t find the gratitude in the moment because my mental capacity just wasn’t there. But because of all of the learning I was doing. I understood the importance of it. And so I would take myself out of my scenario. And I would look at other people’s scenarios, and then I would be able to find the gratitude in mind. And it started with simple things. You know, I’m grateful for electricity, I’m grateful for Wi Fi. I’m grateful that I have a phone I could use I’m grateful that I have a car. Rives, right? So maybe you don’t love the car that you have, but you have a vehicle that takes you from place A to B. So when we can start to cultivate this energy of gratitude, well, then you’re putting yourself into that energetic of manifesting positive things, right. So my very first book is called 31 days of gratitude, create the life you desire. And the reason why I created that book first, was because I had such a hard time being grateful all those years ago. And I know that you have, you’ve been working it and so the reason why I created that is for the person who is just in such a bad mental capacity, that they’re just like, there’s nothing to be grateful for. I mean, I personally know what that feels like. I’ve definitely been at the place in my life where I was ready to take my own life many times. So for the listener who’s listening who’s like, well, you would never understand the pain that I’m feeling. I understand that. Pain. And so that is why I wrote the book the way that I wrote it, because every day, there’s a spiritual blurb that talks about forgiveness, receiving something that will open you up to expansion. And then there are sample affirmations that are for everybody. I’m grateful for messages. I’m grateful, I’m listening, I am grateful, I am open to receiving, right? Because I would have never gotten here had I not ask the universe to help me. So my very first manifestation was that I wanted to be an author and I wanted to be a motivational speaker. But who was going to listen to me I was 250 pounds, every business I had had had failed. And I had nothing to speak about. And so when I asked the universe to help me become credible, the universe sent me to massage school into acupuncture school, I had zero anything like if you would, I didn’t even know what acupuncture was, like, a week prior to joining acupuncture school. So it was literally I was being led by the Divine and I was just listening, and I was going for it. And acupuncture school was like, $55,000, I was a single mom living on food stamps, okay, government. I had $0. So when I showed up,

Juliette Karaman  16:13

other people are gonna say like, but you know, we can’t afford that that is outside my scope. I couldn’t afford

16:19

it either. And but I, you know, I had a friend who put me on the path to acupuncture school, and she had said to me, you’ll make your money back in the first year. And so I called her after I met with the Bursars office, and I was like, how do you think I can do this? I’m a single mom, there’s no way I can’t pay for this. And she was like, figure it out. She’s like, because if you figure it out, it’s going to change your life. And so I do, I figured it out. And I made it happen. And it’s crazy, because like the manifestations that came through to deliver me that money, right, and that has happened at every single point in my life. So far, I can tell you time and time again. And unfortunately, the lessons usually come with $1 amount attached. I don’t know why this is we do know that money is energy. But for some reason, these big monumental, like pivot moments in life is usually surrounded about making a purchase that you don’t think you can afford. And it’s not.

Juliette Karaman  17:28

But that also is like, how much do you value that? Right? Because when you started talking about gratitude, saying the boy, the kids in Africa that don’t have shoes, so how much would they value your old sneakers? Alright, it’s just like I was thinking about this the other day, I went out to the garden, and I’ve been saying, Yeah, I’ve been listening to my abundance meditation that I have on my free resources. And what’s a lot about abundance and abundance. And then I kind of looked around, I’m like, Oh, my God, my fruit trees are like, so many apples and pears and plums. I’ve got core jets zucchinis, I think zucchinis and peas and tomatoes, like kilos, and kilos and kilos of it flowers everywhere, leeks, like Oh, my God, there is such abundance, but we don’t often see the value of it. Because that’s what we’re asking for. We want where we’re striving for something else. So the value for someone that’s hungry, I support this, this orphanage in Uganda, the value for them that would feed 25 mouths for a week. I mean, that would be incredible. So they would be underneath here like, like, like grateful like that. So it’s really it comes down to the value of what you place on something. And like you said, when all of a sudden you have to invest big into yourself. That is you are starting to value

19:06

yourself. valuing yourself is the most important and then putting the energetics out there. And it’s impossible to be grateful. 24/7 Trust me, I’m one of the happiest people you’ll ever meet. And it’s hard being grateful 24/7 I actually have to work towards being grateful. And this is what people don’t know and understand about me is that every day it’s a practice. Every day I encounter problems. I have children, I have a husband, right. And while these things are wonderful, it’s still human beings having a human experience. And so things are going to happen. Things are going to make you angry and sad and all the things and this is why I always say that you have to be grateful 20 times a day. I am grateful 20 times a day. And it’s not just saying and it’s feeling it you want to feel it. That’s the Secret to manifesting, you want to feel it inside, right? Like the other day one of my videos when one of my reels went viral, very excited about this is my first real that’s gone viral. So in the kitchen, kids, and I’m celebrating I’m so excited. My kids are like rolling their eyes because like my 20,000 is nothing in comparison to their millions. And I said, guys, how are we going to react when mommy gets a million views on her on her reel? And they just kind of like looked at me cross eyed, right? Because they weren’t understanding what I was doing. I’m like, no, like, seriously, like, if I was to say to you, mommy just got a million views. What would you do? are just looking at me. And I’m like, jump up and down. Get excited for me. Let’s do it as though it already happens. Right? I’m so grateful. My videos are getting a million views. And so I was trying to show them how to cultivate that energy of being grateful for it as though your writing habit.

Juliette Karaman  20:56

I love that piece that you dropped in should have made that about living as though it has already happened. That is a piece that often people get wrong. I’m like, Yes, I’m grateful. Because it’s like, no, no, no, no, no, let’s slow that down again, you are grateful. Because how does that feel in your body? What are you noticing in your body? What are your thoughts? What are your emotions really sink into this? And this is why my brand is called feel fully you right? It’s all about feelings and bringing them

21:29

in? Yep. So it’s the feeling fuels the thought, right? So you can think it, but thinking it has no value until you put the feeling with the thought. Right. So if we rewind back to when I was a single mom on food stamps, I can tell you the exact moment of when I was laying in my bed, being grateful for my large family. For my wonderful husband, I saw us sitting at this long table, it just felt so real in that moment. And then fast forward years later, when my husband and I moved into our first house, it was a rental that came like halfway furnished, and the dining room was one of those rooms that was furnished, and it was my exact vision. It was wild. And so my husband, one of my manifestations was that I wanted a large family, but I didn’t want to carry all the children myself. So I had one, my husband had two and then we ended up with two together. So there was a long table filled with children. And I can go back in hindsight and tell you every single pivotal moment that I connected to that feeling and to the thoughts, right, I’ll give you another example I manifested a $200,000 vehicle. It’s still like hard for me to even say that out loud. Oh, hi, guys. This vehicle does not make sense. In my life. Right now. I still have small children. I always used to drive a mom vehicle like a huge, you know, car. And then in our mastermind, actually, somebody dropped this beautiful may back Mercedes for those of you that love cars, and it was white leather interior, and it was on brand for our mentor. And it was the first time in my life that I had ever liked a luxury vehicle all these years, my husband has tried to put me in a luxury vehicle and I could care less about cars, I just needed to be functional. I needed it to hold the double stroller and all my things. And so at this point, I just saw this vehicle I was like, wow, like it’s so amazing. It’s so luxurious. And I just put it out there. I’m grateful that I get to drive this vehicle. And not only did I put it out there, I actually wrote a letter to myself, at the end of December that I randomly found I didn’t remember this at all. I wrote a letter to myself at the end of December. And I was so proud of myself. And I was so grateful. And one of the things that I wrote was I was so grateful that I was driving my Mercedes. And so fast forward. The year I always teach a vision master class. And on that vision board, I had put a Bentley on there. And the reason why I put a Bentley on there is because in all the time that I’ve known my husband, his ultimate manifestation was to have a Bentley with a driver. So my vision for last year was my goal was to make enough money so that I can put my husband in the vehicle of a Bentley with a driver. And so a few months back, we’re out to lunch and all of a sudden he says to me, I’m going to the Bentley dealership this week and I was like you are on like why? And he’s like, Well, my car has been acting up and I just want to go take a look, which was so wild, right because it was like I haven’t heard the word Bentley in years since we had This original station, but then I was like, Okay, and next thing I know, he sends me a video of a vehicle. I’m like, Wow, is that a bad way? And he was like, No, it’s a Mercedes, it’s the May back. And so fast forward like two weeks later, we’re sitting in the car and he was like, Screw it. I’m getting it. And I’m like, you’re getting washed. And he’s like, I’m getting the money back. I’m like, you are? Yes. And so this yearbook comes home, I couldn’t even be happy about it at first because I was like, lack scarcity. All of the old stories came out, there was a lot that came with that car. But what was interesting is that my husband did not want to take the car to work yet, because he also felt like fear around making this big purchase. Well, it ended up that my husband went and got another car. I ended up with the Mercedes. And it was like, total cars, it was a thought that I felt like I’m so grateful that I get to drive this car and then it was deleted, right? I didn’t think about it again. I didn’t put my energy into it. I didn’t do lack around it. It wasn’t like I need to have this vehicle or it was like the most beautiful manifestation and it’s it’s ingrained in my body right now. Because that’s how easy it was. Even though it’s not that easy, but that’s how easy it is.

Juliette Karaman  26:29

Beautiful, beautiful. Oh my God telling me that it’s, it’s that it’s that easy. It’s that simple, but it’s not easy, right? So this is what I really want to say to our listeners. It’s simple, but remind yourself time and time and time again. Chilling me on my lap. How can people find you what they’re like? This woman is wow. I want to hear more of her. I want to see what I if I can be in her circle if I can. And that manifestation rubs off on me I know but

27:02

yeah, I’d love to help you show you i You can find me all over the internet by spelling My name correctly. My website is www.shamita.com It’s sh i LAMIDA. I do have my own podcast show which is 50 Shades of Silla. Mita Juliet was a guest that will start promoting that again so we can that interview is amazing and it’s with the number five zero. You can find that on your favourite podcast listening station or I have a YouTube channel at 50 Shades of Shamita I also hang out on Facebook and on Pinterest on the Pinterest queen so definitely look for me you can find me all over the internet. My books are available on Amazon and on my website.

Juliette Karaman  27:46

Amazing. It has been such a pleasure having you my love. Thank you. Thank you so much.