Episode 15 Exploring Self-Discovery, Intuition, and Empowerment with Sue-Ann Maccara

Juliette Karaman: All right, so let’s reproduce you your name is

Sue Ann Maccara an incredible woman, South African Viper loving Canada. I was gonna say, Canadian, Canada, and you and I have crossed paths what? But four or five years ago? Yes.

Sue Ann Maccara: Thank you. Bye, bye five years ago. I’ll never forget this beautiful glorious woman came exploding into a conference that we were in, I just was captivated by you. Who is?

Juliette Karaman: Isn’t it funny that we have that direct connection right with people? And Scott and I, both our coaches are both relationship experts. We’re both consciousness experts. I mean, we’re kind of like, copy wombling into into life. Right? And I love this phrase that you have coined that you are actually using to describe life.

So take me take Sue Ann Maccara: me there a little bit. Well, I always chuckle when I call nice. People ask me what I do. And I say, Well, I’m a Kati wonderful coach. It’s a dead silence. And yeah, Connie, one of my brothers horrified that I call myself that. And it’s because a fellow coach of mine told me she was going on a call at 1.1 Day which is going on a walk and I love that word. I’d heard it many times before and then I looked it up. And it means to travel with purpose towards an unknown as yet unknown destination. It’s British slang. And that’s exactly how my life has taken. Okay.

Juliette Karaman: Can you repeat that again, to travel towards an unknown purpose? To travel with purpose with purpose? They

Sue Ann Maccara: go Yeah. And my purpose is love. Towards an as yet unknown destination beautiful I

Juliette Karaman: wanted to repeat that again because I heard it but I didn’t actually the code didn’t come into my body yet. This is one of the things that I talk about a lot is we all have codes and we pick up codes from each other right? This is like tricks and stuff and where when you really explain that cutting romper, I could feel it in my body. And where you said your way of being is love

Sue Ann Maccara: Yes, and I that’s who I am. That’s what I do. I couldn’t even begin to tell you what I do other than the fact that people meet me they asked me what I do I just take them on Accardi wonderful. What is it about you what is it about you that you’re you want to change what is it about you that’s not having you be free in your life? It’s not having you what’s let’s just have to drop in and just express this be freedom unleashed with ease and grace and a little bit of naughty what is it that’s going on that you don’t get to be that

Juliette Karaman: because we all want to be free and we all want to be happy and we all want to be fun but we actually all like that tiny bit of naughty this inner child like Wonder where we can just because this is life we get to have a little bit of ease and playfulness in it right

Sue Ann Maccara: and I love the word naughty because I’m a rebel I get myself into trouble all the time because I just don’t do it like everybody else does. I stumbled across it I fall across it as I call you want to in my world as I call it won’t ruin my life. And I think I attract other quality ones.

Juliette Karaman: Isn’t that beautiful how we attract like minded people. And I was talking to him yesterday that the erotic blueprints coaches convention

Sue Ann Maccara: about See, who we attract is who we are, you know, we attract what we be. Alright? So

Juliette Karaman: and it doesn’t mean that you have to put anyone on a pedestal because we’re all just walking each other home. And some people might be two steps ahead of you and say, Hey, come on, I know how to do this. I’ve gotten in that hole before, let me get you out. And we just reach. We don’t have to get on a pedestal and think, Oh, my God, they are the Messiah. They’re so incredible. And we don’t have to look down at anyone either. It’s just like, oh, we are all just stumbling over life. And some of us are slightly more graceful than others and others are. we stumble over our feet and our words. And yet, that is a complete transmission to.

Sue Ann Maccara: And Juliette, I’m certainly not graceful.

Juliette Karaman: A lot of us actually would think that the way that you carry yourself is beautifully graceful, and there’s so much humour in it. You’re so self deprecating, it’s, it’s so heartwarming to see, that makes you so approachable.

Sue Ann Maccara: There’s nothing. You know what, there’s nothing you can’t talk to me about. There’s nothing you can share with me. I don’t claim to have done at all. I don’t claim to have conquered at all. But I think people really trust me. I feel so grateful that at age 62, I found the career of my dreams, I actually can just cry when I think about it. Because people have always I’ve been that person that people have come to and shared devastating information for the first time. And that’s what happens in our coaching journeys, when they show up with. You get to express themselves, and share their voices and feel their emotions and then get to the bottom of Hang on a second. I’m not any of that. Those things happen to me. That’s not who I am. It’s so many

Juliette Karaman: may get caught you want to like the next journey, the next event. And it’s you’re touching on a thing that the intense experiences, the trauma, the history, the stories that we have and the life that we’ve lived, because, you know, obviously, you’re 62 I’m 55, we have lived a full life. And we’ve had kids, we’ve had the ups and downs, we’ve had magic, magic things and also tragic things. And doesn’t define us. It’s part of us, but it doesn’t define the totality of who we are. And I think that’s where people can get stuck. Yes. Tragedy, you know, can

Sue Ann Maccara: define us, they make us they, for me, I believe the tragedies I have, honestly, I’ve had such a gift of life. I’m so grateful for the life I’ve had been born and raised in South Africa by a mother who wouldn’t tolerate apartment apartheid, who would have gone to jail. If we hadn’t come to Canada, I wouldn’t change my life. But I’ve had such a blessed life. And you know, my I’ve been through a breach of trust and my 35 year marriage. My hubby and I have caught the one with our way back to truth and love. We choose each other every day. I continue to choose him even though I don’t there are times when he drives me crazy. And I’m sure there are times when I drive him crazy. And there are times I want him to change and he hasn’t changed. And then I realise he’s not going to change. And

Juliette Karaman: if anyone can relate right I’m sure there’s a lot of people nodding here going oh yeah, I know.

Sue Ann Maccara: Yeah, and he’s taught me more about myself. Well, marriage, you know, kids just taught me more about myself. It’s just such a journey. There are times when I’m present that always is a gift and a present Yeah, and then there are times when I’m not and I’m often Makati one login and then it lands me in another place. Yeah

Juliette Karaman: and I love how you say that you choose him every day and he chooses you every day and that you are recreating a life of intimacy a life of being yourself with each other and actually sharing bringing what’s on the inside out and having full acceptance for that and yes, there are times where you’re like why did you do this? Yeah, so many of us what happens is we disconnect we don’t say the things that actually hurt us. We don’t say the things that we might desire we don’t say the things because we’re afraid to get judged, Right?

Sue Ann Maccara: Exactly so many times in my life and with my marriage that I haven’t felt good enough felt that it’s been me that’s been creating this causing is is he gonna leave as he can leave as he cannot be. And then the work that I did through the bloops and break through through gyres work is such a gift in a moment such a perfect time. I suppose to realise that hundreds of people are exactly the same lock is not a single solitary person that’s not the same as just fighting one thing in life doing our thing. But you know, Juliette through the trials and tribulations I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Every time I run into a glitch in my marriage the two of us just stop and we always think who slippers do we want under our bed when we’re 90 years old?

Juliette Karaman: Oh, I love that whose slippers Do you want under our

Sue Ann Maccara: bed Wow Yeah. And at that moment it’s always like I want to slip under my bed and then the rest is just yummy and juicy and you know what life brings and and I underlying value in my relationship with my husband is to be undefended. He gets to show up and defended and I get to show up on time then that’s been that’s a journey that I take my clients it’s it’s beautiful

Juliette Karaman: that is a really good point because we are ourselves because we want to defend ourselves from the hurt from the backlash from maybe the short time that our partner has come in we want to stay away from our pain but out and if you both the sides like hey, we’re not gonna go there we’re not going to lash out each other we’re going to be

Sue Ann Maccara: unarmored pretty incredible and when we do lash out and we do show up on it because it happens then we book a time to meet and of course my husband rolls his eyes at

Juliette Karaman: a point where hundreds of 1000s

Sue Ann Maccara: and then we work it out situation we have this

Juliette Karaman: one person has said

Sue Ann Maccara: something and we run with

Juliette Karaman: one track I’m running I’m leaving on you anymore blah blah blah blah blah and yet and it’s like no, let’s make an appointment and let’s get back to us. I’m gonna let you give our listeners

Sue Ann Maccara: beautiful i i just love the diet that I learned from my accelerated evolution of training is one of my favourites that I run with my clients as well. But anytime anytime I’m not feeling connected with Scott, I will just come up to him and I take you know what, honestly, I believe that responsible for our emotions. And I know that it’s very rare that Scott will book an appointment with me taking up you know, responsibility Fact when when I’m feeling out of sync with him, I’ll just take him aside and say, When can when can we chat. And then we’ll book an appointment that day. And we’ll run the clock for 20 minutes. Again, like I said, he rolls his eyes every time. And he knows that it’s always the best thing that’s ever happened to us when we actually sit down and take the time. And it’s the most beautiful diet. The diet is just a form of communication exercise, where you listen for understanding, just to really, really be heard, when you take turns. And the first question is, tell me something you like about me? And then the second question is, tells me something you think we agree? And then the third question is, tell me something you want me to understand. And then we switch sides. And we don’t respond, we’re just listening to understand. We don’t have to agree. But it’s such a beautiful bayad. Because you just at the end of it at the beginning, it’s all just, you know, the energy is tight, with feeling goofy. And then what starts to happen as you settle in. And then the parts that need to be voiced that need to be heard, you’ve come to such a place of trust. When you get to tell me something you want me to understand. It’s such a such safe place to say, Hey, this is what I really, really need. Because we’re coming from, oh, he likes me. There’s something he likes about me. Oh, and look, we actually do agree. And then it’s like, okay, I trust you now. This is what I really moved. And then we both have the opportunity to strap in and be heard and listened. And at the end, were just so deeply connected. Deeply heard. And,

Juliette Karaman: yes, 20 minutes. Yeah.

Sue Ann Maccara: And literally, the alarm goes off, you turn it off, and we’re back, connected deeply in sync. And then whatever else happens, happens. Booking the appointment is. Yeah, it’s one

Juliette Karaman: of my favourite ways as well. And it’s funny when my partner, Alex, like in the morning, sometimes I’ll turn to him and he brings me my cup of coffee and exactly the cup that I like, exactly the foam and the coffee and everything. And I have the first step and then I’ll try an alternative. So tell me and you see the eyebrows go. Like slightly puckering of this was like oh my God, what’s happening? And he knows that we’re gonna go there. And he’s like, do we need to? We can just do two or three problems. But it just taught me what do you love about our relationship. And that’s often a really good one, especially early in the morning to connect. Well hasn’t slept well. And it’s an it’s also a beautiful way to receive. What I often hear is like, I love waking up next to you. And seeing the Lord turn down smiling, rising, your old still sleeping, but it just brightens up my day. And if you really was like, wow, that means so much right? Just to be able to connect.

Sue Ann Maccara: Yeah. It’s taken me a long time to learn to receive unit. I can’t say that I’m 100% there. I’m a lot better than

Juliette Karaman: you are much better. But receiving is probably one of the hardest things ever. Ever, ever, ever. And especially for us mothers, we have been conditioned to give and it’s kind of our bodies are also made like this, right? We have the babies that take milk from us. We have the babies that come from our bodies. So it’s we’ve been conditioned to give and then to receive. It’s like whoa, I remember being when I first went into my whole personal development journey because it’s been a journey. And I was in this orgasmic meditation retreat, and they put me at effects and I’m like,

What’s that? Like, you are sitting in that fake, plush armchair, and you’re not doing anything, I’m like, What do you mean? That’s so annoying? Of course, we know we need this and come on. And I was like, Come on, let’s do it. And I grabbed everyone else. But you know, I’d be doing a lot of stuff and they’re like No, you are receiving, you are going to learn how to ask for things. And how to ask for a cup of coffee or a cup of tea in exactly the way that you want it. It’s much easier if I can go and do it myself. That’s not the point. The point is for you to actually learn how to receive.

Sue Ann Maccara: And a lot of us don’t.

Juliette Karaman: We knew how to do this as babies, and then it kind of came out of us, right.

Sue Ann Maccara: And the thing, it’s such a, it’s such a gift for the person that’s giving. I was I was able to with my client last week, who has been there 200% for a friend of hers, to the point that my client was absolutely exhausted. Yeah. People, please, I’m proud of my PhD and people pleasing. We’ll set that aside for a second because I now believe that it’s a superpower and not something to be ashamed of. And my client was in a crisis. And she didn’t want to bring her crisis to her friend who had been through so much trauma in her life. And I just said, you know, this is your moment for your friend to be able to get back to you. Your friend has been there, done that. And it’s not fair of you not to show up and allow her to be able to get back. And I think it’s just it’s wrong.

Juliette Karaman: Wrong. That’s interesting, right? Yeah. We kind of caregiver, oh, we can’t show what’s what we’re actually going through. Because they’ve had, they have so much on their plates for this. It’s like, this is exactly where where they can hurt you where us receiving that for them is giving or that loop of giving and receiving them it becomes one just like healing each other and giving to each other being in that open heart space and that love space. That is what makes the world around, right.

Sue Ann Maccara: And I think once once we’ve done the work or certain I know I can speak for myself. I have done so much of the work coming to terms with the people pleaser that I am. And just just just recently, I I took the I took a workshop in New York called body sex. And it was created by Betty Dodson, who I still don’t understand why she is not a heroine. I don’t know why she’s not a household name for women and men all about coming to terms of my own genitals. I mean, really uncomfortable. With my, my, my, my seat of pleasure. And hope it’s okay to go. When we’re going to

Juliette Karaman: talk about anything here anything I’m here to do?

Sue Ann Maccara: Yeah, I Yeah, it’s all it’s all about. Again, um, you might have to beat the word that it’s all about learning to run the fuck. And when I first saw a t shirt, the t shirt that said run the flag, I thought, oh my god, where am I going to run the fact to where am I running? And it’s not about that. It’s learning how to run your own pleasure. Learning how to literally have sex with yourself so that you can run the fuck with your partner, or any partner or whoever that is. What a gift that would be if my partner knew how to run their back. And I knew I can run mine. And you know, I think all the years back when I felt so worried about what the other person is gonna think anyway, what I was going to say was I always thought my genitalia where I go and part of it is, is mirror work looking in the mirror, and I was just terrified, horrified to do. And then when I went back to my room, and felt my genitalia, and how beautiful and how silky and how much pleasure and now this was, this was an absolute aha moment for me this I felt my seat of power and wizards say to me, it doesn’t matter how I believe I will always give you pleasure. I will always pleasure I love you. And actually brings tears to my eyes to get because how many times have I people pleased in my life to ugly, nasty, people who just didn’t deserve it, you know? And I realised that’s when I realised this is my superpower. Knowing what if fields, how other people feel. And now choosing out of place of power. Thank you people pleasing that you’ve given me the superpower. Because I know I’ll never ever, ever, or at least try not to make people feel the way I felt. And then just having that expect moments and it’s okay, I’ll always love it doesn’t matter how ugly My job is to give you pleasure. My job is to give you wisdom. It’s my job. I love you. And then the rest of

Juliette Karaman: it kind of thing. But this won’t be taught in schools we’ve been taught by parents by usually by elders in the tribe, if we look back, look back that that monogamy wasn’t the thing, right? People are each other, no pleasure with each other. And there’s a lot to be said that we’ve all like come out of tents and come out of caves and started building our own lives. And it’s like there’s that need for community there’s that need for actually knowledge that gets passed on. It sounds like you are with some very wise woman teaching this to a whole bunch of women.

Sue Ann Maccara: And there were 50 women, ages ranging from in their 20s to older than me and all magnificent. Now that I get, you know, I’ve understood it. Intellectually I’ve known this I’ve been teaching and all of that, to have Lancer boundaries. And knowing that it’s actually the superpower. There’s no shame in being a pupil. Even when you own

Juliette Karaman: shame away from anything for an over giver. People play things of its own in that same kind of energy, right? Where we give ourselves when we may not be completely given to ourselves we give from ourselves but not to us. Right? It’s all the same route if we think about it, but there’s no shame there anymore. Oh, this is just who I then that’s where the power becomes.

Sue Ann Maccara: Exactly.

Juliette Karaman: In a nutshell, what would you say to a people pleaser? Because I’m sure there’s a few of us on the call that would like to just have one or two things that they can tap into when they’re feeling that they’re saying yes to things that actually don’t want to say yes.

Sue Ann Maccara: In a nutshell I would say stop just for a moment and take a break Before you say yes on take a breath length does this feel yummy for you? Does this feel yucky if it feels yummy, go for it if it feels yucky you still get to choose to go for it be very very excited but then be very clear that you’re coming from a place you’re choosing powerfully at this moment so

Juliette Karaman: I’m gonna take one step back how would people know if it feels Yeah, what can they how can they tap into that somatic wisdom coming from the head yeah, I have friends there that this

Sue Ann Maccara: well for me feeling yummy feels like a little bit of a turn on I can actually feel it in my in my my genitalia it’s tides to buzzer little bit also my heart opens wide wide I my whole body like it almost like champagne bubbles that bubble up that’s feel like yeah, this is yummy in my

Juliette Karaman: that’s a yummy that’s a yes for you. What’s yes that’s a no for you. Let’s see Yes for you. I can

Sue Ann Maccara: feel my heart. Close shut down as there is no turn on my body whatsoever. And I get tension. Huge, huge, huge, huge tension in my shoulders. It my body literally closes down but junetta didn’t always I wasn’t always dialled in including some my somatic yes, this was I think I was always just always intention. But that’s that’s how I Yeah.

Juliette Karaman: And that’s where you say take a breath and do a body scan what’s happening? Are you open contract it? Are you tense or are you just loose and warm and whatever. And that’s how you can start to distinguish between your Yes. Your yum and Yeah,

Sue Ann Maccara: exactly. And then when I feel the clothing downvote i It’s not necessarily always there’s sometimes there are things that I don’t necessarily like to do that I know I have to in the moment or need to do on choosing to have this. But when you stop and take that breath and you actually listen in and you actually dialling then if it isn’t No, it’s if it feels like a shutdown. But I know it’s something that I need to go and do. Then I’m saying yes out of choice. And not and oftentimes when I when when I actually stop and take that post and do say yet it ends up being you know what, I’m happy that I did.

Juliette Karaman: Amazing. I love this and I’m sure the listeners will actually just take that take a breath, your body scan. Yeah, yeah. Or whatever it is, if you’re deciding the Yep, you do it consciously.

Sue Ann Maccara: Exactly. And not. Not, I was gonna say not to mention the fact that’s one of the things I am able to do with my clients is actually have them feel some of them for the first time. I’m not a master like you. But a lot of the time. Clients will come to me and they don’t actually know that feelings exist in their bodies, because they’ve been so stuck in their heads.

Juliette Karaman: I love love, love, love, love but you say this for feelings, body sensations, right? Feelings of emotions, and just what’s happened in between In the head and the toes, right, so often that’s completely offline. Right. And I know the last 1015 years people have been talking about some somatic experiencing and about embodiment. But really what embodiment means to me is that you are so in tune with what is happening, you’re doing body scans that you can actually trust that intuition. Trust that heart opening, you can just do Yuck, you’re young, and then lead your life that way instead of constantly overthinking constantly thinking what’s going wrong? Or what is about to happen or what did happen in the past? Because it means that we’re never present that

Sue Ann Maccara: my brother, my brother, Hugh, shared this with the media, they had never actually thought about it as the word present. I mean, I know present means gift I know present now. But present being present that it was all present. Okay, cool.

Juliette Karaman: Before you’re sending it out there, it’s the moment before Yeah. Yeah, brother, by the way, has the most beautiful book on Oh, my God when I saw that at your house. So why don’t you explain what he does, and

Sue Ann Maccara: I can explain what he does. I just wish he would, she would continue. He’s one of these absolutely brilliant on foreigners, it just keeps coming up with all these brilliant bright sparks. But what he did was he took photographs, he took sections out of photographs and space. And unfolded and unfolded and folded and folded and folded. And so they come to it’s hard to explain a Juliette you it’s really hard to clean it. It’s almost like psychedelic made. Yeah, he took these images and then he unfolded them and then mirrored them. And they It’s unbelievable, what you see in everybody that looks at the picture looks at that. It sees a different sees a different something in it. It’s like hollows, but magnificence that artwork that is reality just exists. That’s like

Juliette Karaman: his mind taking a picture of space of nothing segments. They’re tiny, tiny segment, blows it up. And then you can see how much energy and how it’s moved, and then the colours and the shapes. And for me when I saw that book, I was like, I’m coming home. And a lot of us feel that that we have to start seeing is not Starseeds whatever, you know that we’ve come from, come from that. This is it. We’re coming home. This is like what we were talking about earlier, when someone encounters your energy. They’re like, Ah, I feel home. Yesterday, I had this this call from someone left me a message. So like, I don’t know you but I feel like I’ve missed you all my life. I it’s just she was crying when she left me message. I’m like, Yes, I know, that plays really well. And when I saw those pictures in the book that he made this year coming home, and I was so excited about it, and finally gave it to me. And then there’s this beautiful girl here, the daughter of my my incredible massage therapist who loves space, and who’s undergoing a lot of trouble with her bowels and everything at the moment. So when I heard that it was like, there was a reason that I saw the pictures. I’ve given the book, or she she’s been so enthralled with it. So I’ve kind of like left it there. And at one point I’ll pick it up and get it again. But for now it is in really good hands and she’s 12 and she’s wearing it

Sue Ann Maccara: how beautiful I can’t wait to tell you that it’s just gonna be so touched.

Juliette Karaman: And that’s it right and I showed it to a lot of other women in Canada when after your home I went to someone else and they’re like, Oh, my God, we want to get big pictures have they had the same feeling of like we’re coming from and this is what I feel that our mission is. We may not help people by being in their space, but we’re connectors, I will pick up something from you and I connect it to someone else. And then that is the ripple effect. And they will ripple that out to someone else, because they have picked up that piece.

Sue Ann Maccara: I’ve always believed in the power of one. And the ripple effect a long time ago, I dreamt about having before I even knew about podcasts, I wanted to interview people because and it was called each one reach one. Nice. Yes. And there’s something I wanted to say about that. It’s just me know, I know what it is. In my work, I don’t even like to call it work anymore. Oh, yeah, I know what it was the word help. For some reason that would help. I have a little bit of a charge around the word, I, for some reason, I don’t like it, because I don’t actually believe that people need. And when they come to me, it’s because something happens. We plug into each other. It’s just like a, like a current, back and forth a current where they know, they know they don’t need help. They just what they need is to just plug in once a week, commit to themselves once a week, I’m gonna take 90 minutes whatsoever, I’m just gonna really dial into who I am, what I am, what my wisdom is. I know commit that. Because I know I already know. And then, if through this being plugged in, their own voice comes out their own truth comes up, right? It’s just, it’s just like, and that’s, again, that’s what I love. People come to me. And I only work with people who I know will be an ideal fit. Like, I only it’s such it’s a lovely, liberating feeling that I can say no to people on and out, you know, yeah, I have some here someone else that you can go into i I’m not your person. But when you know that, that’s the most. It’s the most. It’s such a gift that they get to tap into their own wisdom once a week, you know, I’m going to just go tap into my own wisdom here with Sue in

Juliette Karaman: it’s because I see the movie Avatar. And where they plug in their Have you seen the movie Avatar where they put their tails into something. And that is the image that just comes to me when you’re talking about so all it is they’ve committed to themselves once a week.

Sue Ann Maccara: put themselves on the calendar. Get together least under

Juliette Karaman: Yeah, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. And I think that brings us to a beautiful end of our time together. And I want you to tell our listeners how they can find you and you have a beautiful offer that you want to offer them. Yes,

Sue Ann Maccara: we’re hanging out you’re gonna have a quick chuckle here because I finally got a bit of a landing page together that my daughter helped me with so you can find me at

Coddi Wompler. Let’s see. https://www.coddiwompler.com/

And on there, you can click on a link for complete mentary https://www.coddiwompler.com/

I’d love to take you on a 90 minute cardio one poll, just wherever you are feeling a little bit stuck. Come and have a complimentary cardio Huambo with me. And I’d love you to experience the work. And all get unstuck. Oh one get unstuck. owen@gmail.com. That might be easier.

Juliette Karaman: So perfect. I’ll put this in the show notes are actually Joe was perfectly brilliant. Thank you so calmly walk burt.com and was generously giving her time Time. Your time is precious. I know that 90 minutes kadhi Wampler Oh my god. That would be amazing cuddly one.

Sue Ann Maccara: Yeah, it’s much of a gift for me. It is a gift for me to connect with

Juliette Karaman: my love. It has been a pleasure. Like always. Thank you so much for coming on.

Sue Ann Maccara: Thank you for inviting me shares