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Juliette Karaman 00:01
Welcome to the scrumptious woman with Juliette Karaman. This is a sacred space, where we embark on a profound journey, reinventing the most intimate relationship in life.
Juliette Karaman 00:15
Relationship with yourself. We look within uncover and reclaim the territories of relationships, intimacy, sensuality, kink, spirituality, embodiment, communication, parenthood and grief. Through this podcast, we challenged ingrained beliefs and address taboo subjects. Awareness truly is the first step towards self love. Welcome once again to the scrumptious woman, and get ready for an adventure as we dive deep into your essence. Together we will receive reveal, rewire and restore the secrets to living a more scrumptious life. Are you ready? Let’s begin. Hello, lovelies, it’s your host, Juliette karman. And I’m super excited to be with you today. Today, I wanted to talk to you about communication. Now must you be like, Yeah, we communicate with someone every day, you’re, I’m listening to you. So I am taking in your communication. And the thing is that we have communication. Communication is everywhere around us, right? It’s the way that we speak, because it can be variable. But if you really think back at how someone looks at you, you pick up on that energy, right? So you also understand their looks. And sometimes people don’t understand looks right. I’ve worked with a lot of kids on the autism spectrum. And that’s one of the things that I used to teach them. It’s like, what happens when I, at the end of the session, I look at the clock. So there used to always be big clock and in the classroom said I’m looking at the clock, I’m putting my files away, but I’m starting to cross my arms. What does that mean? And these young boys be looking at me, like, I don’t know, I’ve seen you do that every time at the end of a lesson. I’m like, Okay, so let’s interpret that. That is body language, body language can be communicating something to you. And especially those things, so I would have to really decipher it for them. So why I’m sidetracking and telling you this is because one of the boys that I that I mentored and that I coached and that I taught in in, in a boarding school a few years ago, found me on Instagram and actually texted me on there, send me a message. And he said, Oh my God, that session that you did with me about, you know, what happens at the end of a session and how to read when someone’s energy is enough when you’re when they want to move on. When it’s time to close a session, I now am able to read people’s energy. And now he’s he’s finished university. And he’s just started his first job. And he was just so thankful. But not every one of us can pick up on these communication skills. So verbal communication, then there is body language. And then if you think about it, our thoughts carry frequencies, right? So what we think we are communicating to the universe, you might call it universe, God, whatever. But we realise that our thoughts carry a certain frequency. And then that is often what we will call them. Have you seen like, Have you ever been in a different country and you don’t speak the language, yet, you somehow are able to communicate with people. Now, I’m Dutch. And when I first moved to Texas when I was 12, with my parents, I didn’t know any English. And yet I was able to communicate with people with a little bit of feet and hands and noises and pointing at stuff. And then within no time, your brain actually picks stuff up. One thing I want to point out, too, is the verbal communication. Often times we communicate something to our partner or to one of our loved ones or to clients to a boss, and we don’t feel heard. We don’t feel understood. We know that they heard that but it didn’t go in. And honestly let’s turn the tables Have you ever had a moment that one of your kids came rushing up to you and blurted out all kinds of stuff, and you just haven’t been able to take it in. So if you think about communication, verbal communication now, when you are talking to, like I said, your boss, your, your, your spouse, your children, oftentimes they’ll hear you. But they won’t quite, it won’t quite land. Because what happens is, we don’t actually communicate to be understood. Or we don’t listen, to understand, but we listen to them, jump in and say our thing, what we want, what we want to bring to the situation. So this is one of the biggest eye openers for my clients for my couples that I work with, because they’ve been together for years. And one of the complaints is like, She never listens, or he never listens. And why can’t they be more like this? Or that? Comparison is, is is a pretty horrible thing. But it is what happens like why can’t you be like neck or your new never do that, to have the things you want to scrap from your communication from your vocabulary completely, because that will shut that will shut the other person down completely. All of us have this innate, want this innate need to be heard, seem understood, and ultimately loved. So this is a communication method that I’m going to be teaching you and that I teach through all my couples, and it’s actually really, really helped. It’s helped three couples from the brink of divorce coming back to get to actually really, really massively intimate again, two of them went back onto a honeymoon to and reengage their, their renew their vows. That’s what it’s called. So I want you just to know that when you do this communication exercise, it is the aim is to be understood. And to have the person that you are breaking this communication to have them understand you, they don’t have to like it. They don’t have to agree with it. But they do have to say thank you if they’ve understood because often, we want a safe space to bring out what we want, right? So what I’d like you to do if you have a partner, or if you can practices have someone, first of all, first point is ask them, do you have 15 minutes? Can we put our phones away for 15 minutes, I planted it, we have a 15 minute exercise I want. I want to have your attention? Do you have the bandwidth for it? When can we do this? When can we make sure that the kids are away that we you and I have time to do this exercise. And both the both of you need to be willing. So first thing, put your phones away. But the mom on silence on aeroplane mode, make sure there’s no kids. And this is only to communicate this is only to get across what you want the other person to know. And the first communication is you ask from Your partner is telling me what you love about me. And the other person will take that communication. And this is where it might be a little bit vulnerable. So you might want them to ask that question that prompt you first. Tell me what you love about me. Be like, Well, what I love about you is that you’re thoughtful, and I feel safe with you. And then the thing is for the person who gave that prompt is to say thank you. They’ve understood what that communication has been about. It’s not to go into conversation. But this is really where you can get much more intimate with it. So they you sweat. And then the other person says, Tell me what you love about me. What I love about you is what a great father you are to the kids and I love hearing their little shrieks of delight when you pick them up and jump them, throw them in there. And the other person says thank you, as sometimes people go on and on and on and on and on. And then it’s your job to say hey, shorten that.
Juliette Karaman 09:51
summarise that. And even if an another thing might be another property you can give us it’s like hey, I’m summarise it thank you summarise that. Or say again, if you didn’t hear it, okay? Our aim is not to go into a conversation here, but for it to be a really safe space to open up. Because if you’ve actually just felt into that, how did that feel? Hearing those two? Two answers, right? It’s like, Oh, that feels good now. Now I can actually be with this person. So you ask that prompt five times. And then you go into the second prompt. And the second prompt could be, this is something I need you to know. Or tell me something you need me to know about you that I don’t know yet, or that you think I don’t know yet. So tell me something that you want me to know about you. And then the other person goes, says, you know, when you promised to take out the rubbish, and then it’s Thursday morning. And I notice after the garbage truck has come, that you actually haven’t done it, it has me feel like, those jobs don’t matter, and that I have to do everything on my own. You see how vulnerable that is? And the other person says, Thank you. And normally, if we’d have a conversation, I’d be like, yes, but I always do it, I just forgot it. But here, it’s actually to get that communication across to open up. And then you ask again, tell me what you need me to know. And then I’ll ask them, please do not jump in on that same subject, but says something else. And the other person might say, Well, I actually really love it when you bring me coffee in the morning, and it has me feel really loved. Like you really care about me. Melanie, again, the other president says thank you, do you feel where this is going, where you’re actually opening yourself up? And again, you go five times, tell me what else you need me to know. And I could be something like, I need to know that I’m really freaking angry of my mother, she can which is such a monster. And I’m just annoyed. And then as the partner, you just say thank you, you’re holding space, we don’t need to be fixed. We are not broken. And that is one of the things that living a scrumptious life and being really in scrumptious relationships with each other. We know that we don’t need to fix each other. We can be the sentiment, we can bring what’s on the inside out by being fully ourselves by feeling everything. So that is an exercise. That’s the homework that you’re going to get this week. Scheduling 15 minutes to do this with your partner. And if you don’t have a partner, then do it with your children. Yeah, then really see, it’s like if you can take one of your kids on the side and saying, Hey, let’s do this communication exercise I don’t want. This is all about bringing what’s on the inside out. And it’s a place that you can feel understood, seen and heard. And it might not be the problem, like tell me what you love about me. But you could start it with saying, Tell me what went well at school today. Tell me what you enjoyed about your day. Tell me what was the best thing about today. And this is where you can actually be teaching your children to start looking at things that go really well. And also, this is how you can then ask them tell me what are something that was more challenging today. And this is a beautiful way where you can actually bring this into, say a dinner conversation. Tell me what was one of the things that you love most about your day? Tell me what was good about it. Tell me what was one thing that was challenging? And what’s one thing that you would like more of because we can start training the mind to see things differently. And that’s how we start communicating with the universe. Right? And then also for yourself, start looking at Hey, what went well today? What did I like about it? What were some of the things that brought me joy? What did I invite into my I life that brought me that scrumptious miss that feeling of joy of pleasure. And it may be as simple as I opened the doors to the garden today. And the way that the breeze hit my face as I opened it and the sunshine shone on my shoulders, really had me pause and realise what an incredible life I lead. So my loves that is just a little nugget into scrumptious communication. Scrumptious communication is one of the courses that that is on my website feel fully you there, it’s an evergreen course it’s an evergreen masterclass, actually, and I’ll be turning it into a course in the near future. If this is something that you want, please go and have a look at scrumptious communication on feel fully.com Lots of love. Thank you for joining the scrumptious woman podcast. I appreciate you being here as time is your most precious commodity. If you enjoyed these insights, please hit the like and subscribe button. By doing so you’ll stay connected. Visit feel fully u.com for a wealth of resources, tools and guidance to support your journey towards living a more scrumptious life. Follow me on Instagram under the handle Juliette Karaman French spelling with double te Karaman ka-ra-man Facebook again, Juliette Karaman don’t keep this magic to yourself. But share this podcast with anyone who you feel will benefit from this energetic exploration. Spread the wisdom ignite their inner fire and empower them to embrace their true selves. Together let’s create this ripple effect of transformation and inspire others to embark on their own journey of self discovery. Thank you for being part of our vibrant community. Stay fully you and continue to radiate your unique essence and all that you do